Amid the unsound mind

new habitat

2009-09-16T08:39:00.003+08:00

I was going over some sites to visit and I came across Tumblr. I haven't made an account yet because I wanted to explore the site and thru the directories, it convinced me to make one. There's freedom through the photos I've seen and it tells a lot. Now I'm making one! :D

Please pray for my grandpa who is now confined at Lorma Medical Center. He's suffering from a multi-infection wherein the etiology is unknown as said by the doctor..
Thank you very much for the prayers!

Pieces of trade

2009-09-11T19:38:00.003+08:00

I am having my duty at the Rehabilitation Center of Benguet General Hospital this week wherein I didn't know what to expect. I was thinking of the typical rehabilitation centers for alcoholics or drug addicts or even for stroke patients but I was wrong. We were given the task of handling children with disabilities where this center serves as a primary step for the children before entering a private or government owned institution of SPED (Special Education).

Luckily, my groupmate brought his car which we used to travel to the deep parts of La Trinidad. I was shocked because there were still parts where the road hasn't been cemented yet and that most were one-way road. I kept praying that the car wouldn't fall off because one slip could bring us down. When we reached our clients, I thought of a lot of things - how blessed I am to be with my family and without any barrier to the real world. I want to be of help but when you're there, you can't actually say what you can do. Money is a scarce and the transportation is hard so home visits are done by the social workers (us the student nurses included). I pity them but pity does not do anything. Although mentally/physically disabled, their family serves as their primary support to which for others are no avail. So we did what we could've done by assisting in the activities that should be accomplished by each child. One's patience will really be tested and when the child was able to accomplish the task, a different feeling would tell you that you've helped the child.

It was one good experience after having our duty at the Easter College SPED because we were able to relate the cases we saw and that not all persons with disabilities are dysfunctional. A lot of them are able and wouldn't let their disability get in their way. Kudos to those brave persons! :D

Next week is Grandparent's Day! Don't forget to send a letter, postcard or gift to your beloved grandparents. A little action like this does many wonders. Let's acknowlegdge their strength and continuous love for us, just like their parents. Who says materials are the only things that make them happy? Try hugging or kissing them for once, I bet they'll appreciate it more than you know.

So here's my picture with the new haircut. Haha! I didn't want layers because my hair is not easy to manage because I have the wavy type. I really did good with this new 'do as compared to my very long one before.. :D

Anyway, Jim and I met awhile ago and we had dinner at Tokyo Tokyo again. I hated the wasabe which he dared me to try but still, I enjoyed the lax time I had with him. My throat is sore again argh! I want the sun already. Too much rain has been washing us out. And oh, the -BER months are here, better start saving!

New Haircut!

2009-09-02T23:08:00.002+08:00

After so many months and due to my impulsivity, my friend Aya and I decided to let our hair be cut at David's Salon. Regrets? Nada! I'll be posting a picture of us soon. It's really nice that for once, I don't regret my hair being cut haha. Thanks Aris of David Salon (Porta Vaga, Baguio City branch). :D

Year One of Jack Black is crazy! Couldn't help laughing at the scenes. He really is a good actor, always having that sidekick just like in Lucha Libre. There are a lot of adult contents though, I suggest it wouldn't be suitable for children..

By the way, I effing love shopping! I've been going around for weeks now just to find good clothes. I also bought a gift for my mom tomorrow. It's her birthday. Please wish her a happy birthday! :D

Looking ahead

2009-07-07T23:35:00.007+08:00

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do and you will succeed..."
- Proverbs 16:3

Sadly, a lot of people look ahead without committing their potentials and hope to their priorities and faith. As long as one is continually achieving a lot, faith is slowly forgotten.

For the past days, I have been thinking over a lot of things which include my plans for next year when I graduate and pass the board exam. (Must think positive haha!)

Life would soon be different, and I couldn't imagine myself doing things independently. Yes I know I should be ready but everything takes time, especially for me who grew up with my parents and is still currently living with them. As much as possible, I want to rush things. I don't want to be left behind knowing that employment isn't just around the corner.

Sometimes I couldn't help but stare blankly and think of the possibilities. Of those possibilities, I daydream that I'm some kinda superhero, having the ability to stop time and become invisible and that would be enough. I'm a person who always focus on the future which is not a good thing because I let a lot of opportunities pass and regret later that I haven't grabbed it. Sigh, I'm trying to change that.

I've been receiving good scores at periodicals and evaluation from my instructors and even compliments from my friends. I don't know where I'm heading to but I'm pretty sure everything is good with me right now. My family is very supportive of me and although my asthma attacks are triggered again lately, I still go out with my friends and family. Believe me, being a couch potato will guarantee you sores.

We started Psychiatric Nursing as a separate subject and it really is fun. There are a lot of things I could quote from our previous lessons which can either be related or not to nursing such as.. "Why does the Philippines spend so much on military when the government can divert it for education and health..? Who are we protecting ourselves from? Are there Decepticons who will come and destroy the Earth?" and we did laugh hard at that. It's true though. Our country is lacking resources for what should be priorities especially now that a(h1n1) is already pandemic.

Anyway, lately has been really good for me and a lot of my friends. I haven't heard any bad news and it's really good. Well except for a while ago when SLU had to cancel classes because a case of a(h1n1) was found and they are not to have classes for 10 days.

I guess I'm falling in love again. And I'm avoiding it really. It would complicate a lot if I did entertain this feelings. Sigh. I'm looking forward again. But it's for the best..

I may not know what lies ahead but I will continually stay strong not only for myself but also for the people around me. Lord, I lift it all up to you...

Incapable?

2009-05-17T23:55:00.005+08:00

Everyone feels incapable once in a while. Insecurities and regrets (physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually), are being suppressed and thrown at our subconscious mind and somehow they get out, even in the oddest situation. How do you handle it? Do you let it get in your way? Or do you throw that pandora box back to where it belongs?

Seriously, it still depends on the coping mechanism of one person. No matter how perfect one can look, how one can answer different questions thrown to him, nor how rich a person can be, insecurities never fail to exist. This is one bold reason why a lot of people commit suicide, engage in infidelity and even kill. For others, instead of letting it pull them down the drain, they continue to improve what they lack.

In this modern time where everything can change in a snap, one will endure anything to cope, especially now that the world is experiencing global crisis. I'm sure a lot are dying to improve and hone their skills to be accepted in certain jobs. And when you get that position, something crawls up your spine and tell you something is not right, this wouldn't be enough and something has to be done fast. Overdoing it sometimes gives a person the opposite of what he wants and even deserves. This twists and turns deliberately depends on what the person really wants to achieve in life.

Contentment then comes in. Even something close to perfection can be deceiving. No one is really given the gift of contentment. Yes, you could say you are contented. But ask yourself, is that what you really want in life? Have you reached your goals and is it doing good to the people around you? What have you really done to achieve this contentment? Were you alone when you have done it? So many questions... Insecurities come creeping back your spine, regrets remind you of what you could or couldn't have been today, you are either contented or wishing for more, eventually, you either become happy or depressed.

Sigh. In relation to what I'm feeling today, I really do think I am incapable of certain things. Such as? Cooking for one. No matter how I try, I can't seem to get it right. Time budgeting is such a hard work I rarely complete my requirements and responsibilities. And the worse part is, I feel that I am incapable as a sister and a daughter to my family. I haven't spent real time with my family for the past weeks even if we're together. I'm ignoring much of the advantages a family can provide as a support. A lot of my friends tell me that I'm lucky that I'm still living with my parents and siblings, that I don't need to be home-sick(unless when I'm in my community duty), I get to see them, hug them and even share the burden life may be throwing.

Sadly, I'm covered with shit and I ignore much of this attention and care. I even risk the respect I have for them when I need them to hear me out. See how incapable? But it isn't all the time that I have to stay deep down. I also dig my own feet upward because despite this, I have the initiative to approach problems that arise within the family and I value every member even if we have different beliefs when it comes to religion. I know I have failed a lot but I used it as my cornerstone to reach what I am today - strong and brave. I'm a young adult coping to the near transition of being real independent after all.

***

A clean break - which i have been meaning to feel the past weeks is what I have for now. Coffee, my pen and my ruler has been my constant company during my duty days and I'm going back to that lifestyle on Thursday. I have been waaaay to busy that I didn't even text my mom the past few days! I feel guilty, really really guilty. I know it's not a reason to forget communication even though I was buried with requirements. Sigh..

2009-05-07T19:01:00.003+08:00

"Rain rain come my way, I want to sleep all day! :D"

After the confusion of transferring to another school and other issues, I decided to stay in Easter. As I have said in my previous post, there's too much to handle. There are a lot of changes. From the criteria of grading our Nursing Care Plans to our uncoordinated schedules for duty, I find it hard to cope, especially with new clinical instructors. Although I'm thankful that we still have our "old" clinical instructors, I know it wouldn't be the same as before.

Finally, a storm has approached. It's been long since the sun really shone for the past few weeks. As of now, Benguet has a storm signal no. 3. I'm sure we won't be having our duties tonight.

***

For some, raindrops marks a bad day in one's busy life. But rain still is a constant reminder to us all that we should also take it slow, breath and rest for a while. In times like this, a cup of hot choco drink, a warm blanket and a good book is enough to make it through the time being. Not only will this be a good time for snoozing but it also is a good time for reflecting. As one stares through the window where the rain eventually splashes through it, doesn't it give a refreshing feeling too? :)

Graduations...

2009-03-31T23:17:00.003+08:00

March always marks the notions of graduation. As defined by wiki, "Graduation is the action of receiving or conferring an academic degree or the ceremony that is sometimes associated...". It is one of those important and memorable days of one's life where one has achieved something - a fruit of good labor. Ceremonies are held due to this to recognize one's achievement and dream. Education may not be tangible but it is something that no one can steal from you.

Awhile ago was the graduation of my younger brother Jameel. Today marked the start of his puberty (he's got growing pains) because I finally see something mature in him and of course, the start of the best years of his education - high school. He hasn't decided where to study yet as well as some of his friends. Sigh. I hope he does realize this before May.

Well, vacation starts on Thursday for me. We still have to finish and bind our thesis. Our panelists told us the other day that our thesis would be one of those that would be displayed in the offices. Hell yeah! :]

Cheers to the graduates! :)

Lucky are them...

2009-03-30T22:46:00.002+08:00

We have just finished our final research defense this afternoon and I could say that it was a success. The fruits of our bearing was really worth it. Our only problem left is the revision of the comments made by our panel and then we're off.

Sigh... Sometimes I regret the time I didn't do well in my studies back in SLU. If I have given my best, I probably would be studying there right now, without problems in the way the school governs the college of nursing. But of course, I do not regret the time when I chose to study at Easter College. I know I've made the right choice because I have seen the college's sincerity and motivation to create a name even though it has only started a few years back then.

I haven't decided yet if I will transfer to another school... again. This isn't for a reason that I'm the type who's fixated that I keep on changing my decisions and so on. It is though for a reason that I'm following a school's standard, it's name and it's capability to uphold a college, which aside from SLU, Easter College has. But now, I don't know what's happening. The college is crumbling and the administration is not doing anything about it. Easter has appeared in many newspapers for the past week and even month I guess and it seems that the situation keeps getting crappy. I know the college of nursing is only one of the many divisions of the school it is handling, but it's sad to know that these issues are only ignored until the 4th years have graduated. It's nice to know that our past dean, Dean Tingda cares for us and sacrificed her good position in SLU for CCDC. It would be very nice to stay with dedicated instructors and dean who would uphold the quality education a college must have but of course, by transferring, there would be a lot of consequences. For one, it would be our uniform. I know it might be a minor problem for others but of course, it wouldn't be easy for our parents who are paying for this. Another would be the distance from home to La Trinidad. The total time it took me to go there was 50 minutes. And another would be our transcript. Sigh. There's too much to handle right now..

Awhile ago during our defense, the school was extremely busy. The clinical instructors who were filed against were packing their stuff because their terms will end tomorrow, March 31. Still, they're in school attending to our needs and research defenses. I wish the school would realize that the clinical instructors they're letting go are the strengths of the college. Seldom will you find dedicated and time-devoting instructors to the academe. As compared to other schools by their standing in the board exams, hello, Easter College stands 2nd over-all in CAR. It's just, we aren't accredited yet. But the school is proud to stand that high even if its title is only College, Inc.

Quality education is hard to earn this days. Few are those dedicated and goal-oriented instructors, lucky are those who have them as their educators...

Potpot Grew!

2009-03-25T22:11:00.003+08:00

Sigh. My pet Potpot in Facebook has already grown. :( I'm sad cos it doesn't look cute anymore. haha. But anyway, it's a good thing because I get points and coins in the way.

We were supposed to finish our research output today but due to time constraints, we weren't able to do so. From Abanao, my groupmates and I walked by Maharlika and bought some "wagwag". It was fun and disappointing at the same time because it was wrong timing - we didn't have money at that time.

We aren't done in school yet. We still have our research defense. Gusto ko na rin magbakasyon.:(

toooot. toot.

2009-03-08T22:48:00.004+08:00

It's sad to think that my "time" has passed together with some of my friends from teentalk and other bloggers. I've been browsing my account and tried posting but it seems the people from the time I was active are also inactive now. Nakakasawa din pala, ika nga.

I just came home from Session and I really enjoyed even the little time that was granted to me and my friends. We waited for the fireworks which was really grand. The lady at our back told us that there are 8 venues from where the fireworks are done. Sabay sabay silang nagpaputok at talagang punong puno ang langit ng mga fireworks. It would've been nice if they did it one by one so that the time for the fireworks would've last longer. The venues where the fireworks originated which I saw were from SM (we were here), Burnham Park, Athletic Bowl and Melvin Jones (I'm not sure).. The other four? I don't know.

Anyway, since I'm dead tired, I'll be posting the pictures tomorrow! Toodles!

2012 - Planet X

2009-03-07T19:45:00.004+08:00

By the way, I came across some articles and videos where my friend told me about the Year 2012 which could be the end of - not actually the world - but maybe of humanity? Either way, if ever this happens it would be hard to survive something large as this and if a person does survive, can he adapt to the changes of the world?

This issue has been shown in Fox one time but was said to be one of those Y2K myths or blah-bers. I have read somewhere that the government of the US is searching for evidences to this. What is the issue anyway? It is said that a planet which is named Planet X or Nibiru will enter the solar system which will disrupt the Sun and the surrounding planets.

I'm not really sure about other religions but they claim that the Catholic church has been hiding this issue due to reasons that it may be against the teachings. Oh well, just click on the links and I'd really appreciate discussions on this. Hehe.

I'm encouraging you to give it a look. ;] (This is not about the movie 2012)

An article by Inquirer
2012 on Youtube
Epistaxic explanation

Back again! XD

2009-03-07T19:25:00.004+08:00

"The burden I'm bringing to myself when I meet him is worth the cause.
It wouldn't be enough to make me stay sane,
but it would be enough to make me
believe in love again..."
- zeitgeist -

I'm pretty messed up with a lot of school work. After finishing our case presentation (which I admit we failed due to lack of information and it was our first time to do this), the group is working on the revisions of our research output together with our community presentation.
This ThFS was our first break for the whole semester but it was not a break for the group because we had to do our pre-test. Speaking of school, we only have one week (enrollment included) before the summer classes. Arrgh! I'm losing my mind.

These past two weeks, Baguio has been celebrating Panagbenga. The closing ceremony will be held in Athletic Bowl tomorrow and it would be the last night for the session stalls. I haven't even tried staying at our stall for a day haha.
I've met and spent time with friends there. As usual, Shawarma ang uso sa okasyong ito.

We also finished our community duties for the whole month of February. We only have GI&metab skills lecture and two duties in the hospital left. Sigh. I'm not hoping for a new group this summer. I have adjusted pretty well in my group and we've really been through a lot. I'm sure this is also what the other groups feel. The department claims that we should be regrouped again for summer so that we would learn to adjust. Right. As if.

Anyway, the quote above which I made relates to what I go through when I meet Ice Cream. It's really something I couldn't explain but... Ah who knows. I'm just really glad I've got him.

reflections

2009-01-06T16:48:00.004+08:00

[in lieu of my post for December 31, 2008. I was able to retrieve it awhile ago. Yay!]

“Do yourself a favor – forgive and watch your worries fade.”

December 31, being the last day of the year 2008 is a crucial time for a lot where we prepare for the coming year and even reflect. By now, I believe a lot of people have made their own resolutions for the year 2009. As for me, I’m going over 2008 and see how it has and how it will change me for the better.

I turned 18 this year. Yes, the legal age – drinking liquor at bars, driving and even voting. I’ve done the first two but voting? I haven’t actually thought of getting my voter’s ID yet but I want to vote. Somewhere, I thought of how important voting is because before, I was totally against it. Of course, I wasn’t affected by the society’s problems yet.

The greatest failure of my life - yet. It was April when I went to the 3^rd floor lobby of Adenaur Building in SLU. I couldn’t say if I expected my name to be in the list of students taken for the quota. But then when I looked, it wasn’t there. At the same time, when I took my grades, I failed Physics. That’s why I didn’t enter the quota. I felt the world crumble above me.

I officially became a student nurse – Capping and Pinning Ceremony at Easter College. After I enrolled to Easter College, I became lax with my studies. I observed that it was a totally new place. I didn’t expect such school that had one building for the Nursing, Engineering, HRM and even Education courses. Besides that, I knew I was receiving quality education. I didn’t find NCM 100 that hard but it was a new subject matter that focused on a lot of theories. Being a priority for the sewing of my uniforms (I was one of the students whose average for prelims was high); I was really excited to wear it as soon as possible. By then, we were practicing our songs, our seating arrangement (which was disarranged a lot of times), and our positions during the song and even the capping and pinning. It was May when the ceremony took place. It was a real highlight of my soon-to-be profession.

My first duty before the Capping ceremony. I wouldn’t forget how I scored so low for my first duty. I’ll admit I was careless before. I had trouble with the TPR (temperature-pulse-respiratory rate) sheet, the giving of medications (I didn’t understand TID, BID, OD and even anti-emetics bla-bla), and even specific interventions to patients with special cases. Hello naman kasi, first time naming magduty at linagay kami sa Medical Ward na wala man lang 4^th year na kasama samantalang yung ibang groups may mga kasama sila argh. So there, my grade for that duty was 75.1. I sure learned from those mistakes and still learning more. I’m not the type who would give suppositories via oral route, the type who doesn’t even know KVO (third year, second semester na po) and even those who’d fast-drip their IV lines so as not to be delayed.

The last time I saw and met up with Ice Cream. It was sad for me because he just let me walk out of him (for the first time) after I got mad at him. Was I being unreasonable when he didn’t show up at the meeting place? I waited for like an hour for him. After that, I didn’t text him and he didn’t either. Lately, I don’t know how he got my new number but he texted me. I missed him but I won’t admit it.

My grandfather (father side) died. A big loss to the family, his death brought out issues among the members as well as the relatives. I didn’t know that such things existed. Paano naman kasi, kung sana sinabi pa noon at hindi inipon, sana hindi ganito na parang hindi magkaka-pamilya. A lot would talk like it’s the fault of those who left grandpa. I was forcing them to bring grandpa to the hospital when his case wasn’t that crucial yet. What did they tell me? Wag na at sinisipon lang ang lolo mo. Naulanan lang siya. He needed suctioning badly and I knew. My aunt was the one who told me that so I respected what she wanted. Pinapamukha sa akin na wala akong alam – fine. Hindi na ako nakialam pagkatapos nun, alam ko naman na may sasabihin siya kapag aalagaan ko si lolo. I went to check on grandpa when she asked me to because she said she’s going out so I did. He wasn’t doing well and I told them again to bring him to the hospital but it was grandpa who said he didn’t want to. The next night we went to La Union, he passed away. Things happened so quickly and we got blamed for it. The result? I don’t know but I know when I’m not wanted so I go off. As for me, I do things for them as a sign of respect – hindi naman ako bastos para hindi makipag-usap.

All the special people I know were able to celebrate their birthday this year. My parents, my brothers and even my grandfather (mother side) were able to celebrate his 86^th birthday and I’m happy about it. My friends and even enemies did celebrate their birthday this year too.

For all these things I’m happy about, I thank God for another year that he has bestowed upon me and my family. Significant events (and some that I may have forgotten) that shaped me to who I am now didn’t only affect me but as well as to those who are around me.

RESOLUTIONS? Haha. I’ll name some.

· I’ll wake up earlier, and maximize my time so I’ll be able to help in some chores. Sigh, I hope so haha.

· My pride shouldn’t be an essential anymore. I must forgive and forget. Everyone makes mistakes especially me. So why should I be a snob? Seriously, I’ll try.

· Time is so precious I should be conscious of it. I’ll spend more time with my family and friends. I’ve been totally engrossed with school work I forget a lot of things.

· I’ll cut down my diet. I should really be aware of my health now that I gained more than 10kgs.

I couldn’t think of additional ones yet. I’m not really good with resolutions hihi.

The book that inspired me this year: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

The song that caught my attention this month (it would be unfair to say year): Love bug by the Jonas’ Brothers and Clinically Dead for Sixteen Hours by the Camerawalls.

The person who has made a big impact to my life till now (aside from my family and friends): Mr. Ice Cream

The show(s) that inspired me with ideas: Heroes series, Gossip Girl series and The Playlist (at MTV. :P)

And lastly, the quote that I love the most: “When you’re in bed, you’re dead.” By Morrie Schwartz. The quote inspired me that there’s more to life than lying down. When we’re lying in bed and sleeping, we only achieve dreams but when we get up and work our desires, we achieve life.

2008 has offered a big change to my life. I’m very happy that I came across a lot of people who became my friends and even enemies. Everyone has taught me a lesson in life. Now, I’m ready to face 2009 with a bang!

And oh, a picture I'd like to share with you all to remind you that nature is indeed splendid!:]

*Caption: I took this at Atok, Benguet - highest point.

twenty-o-nine

2009-01-06T10:09:00.002+08:00

"Happy 2009!"

Due to the failure of my USB, I wasn't able to post my New Year post. Sigh. And I had the only copy there and when I was about to post it, poof I can't open the drive. So much for my reflections and resolutions. So I'm just going to run down some of the things that has made my day and those that were bothering me lately.

As I travel back to 2008, there were significant events that shaped the person I am now -- stronger and still imperfect. Relationships with people made me think about significant things, how quickly one can change and how one can really prove their worth. One day you get out of the house, had fun and laughed like there was no tomorrow only to get spoiled by the people at home. I've been there and I can't blame anyone for it. Of course, one gets stressed every now and then; "when will I have this and that?", "what is it with you?", "where are you going when you have no one?" and even "how are you living your life? ". It's tiring to hear the same arguments over and over and still there's no change. Being aware of the things going around me, I'm sure of one thing - my parents are doing the best that they could to give us a brighter future.

Noticing the difference I felt back in La Union as compared to Baguio, life there is walking around and appreciate what you see and upon my arrival here in Baguio, I notice people going around and are very concentrated with what they're doing that they don't seem to notice little things around them. My comparison may vary though and I'm not saying that everyone will agree to this. It's just one of the reflections I saw in the province as compared to the city.

Last Saturday, National Bookstore SM Branch called me that my order of the Twilight Saga has arrived. Actually they told me that they reserved New Moon and Eclipse for me. Frances accompanied me to NBS and I was reserved three books including Breaking Dawn. It's such a nice birthday treat for me because I've waited long enough to have these books and 200.00 was cut from the price. I'm really happy about it haha.

The death of my grandpa (paternal side) really brought twists to all related. As I have discussed in my previous post, I could not think of any other excuse. What has happened isn't desired by any of us but still it seemed that way to those who weren't around at the time of my grandpa's death. I pray that his soul will rest in peace...

Ahh yes, the holiday break was fun. There were tons of chocolates, ham, wine and champagne that we all indulged on. And sadly, I gained a lot of pounds. I should be more conscious of my health now since I've been having angina (chest pains) last year. Sticking to the ideal diet would be tricky but is needed haha. My genetic material includes familial disorders - Diabetes Mellitus and Hypertension. Luckily, I haven't been having asthma attacks lately.

As for my birthday yesterday, I'm glad I was able to celebrate it with my family. Wish? I'm really contented with what I have now. It may seem weird to others but I really want and peace and wisdom among us all. Growing tired of the arguments around me, I can't help but think and doubt God. I know I shouldn't.

Well, that's it for now. I realized I'm running late for school. Haha. Ciao!

Holiday craze!

2008-12-22T10:15:00.006+08:00

"Modesty is just so hard to find..."
- Lovebug (Jonas Brothers)

I was supposed to finish this post last time. But then I got lazy. Haha.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you’re enjoying the holidays.

About the recent days, I have been busy with school, family and gifts. Well scratch out the last one. I didn’t really like shopping this year. Have I mentioned that Twilight is still showing in SM Baguio? Now that they’ve earned a lot, expectations are higher for New Moon.

Last December 22, I had my make-up duty (in lieu of my absence due to my grandpa’s funeral) in Baguio General Hospital. I was assigned to a female patient at the Surgical Ward. At first glance, I knew what to assess – there was definitely something wrong with her. I went on doing my initial assessment and yet I couldn’t find the thing I was supposed to know not until I communicated with her. I thought I might be speaking the wrong dialect (Ilokano) so I shifted to Tagalog and asked if she was able to understand Ilokano and she answered a “yes”. Weird. After recording my assessments, I went to check on her chart – I’ll name her Pt #1 and reviewed her history and then I knew she has Schizophrenia. It was my first time to handle a patient with a mental illness. Reflection: I thought books were no of help that time. I went back to her and talked. She stared blankly at me (it did freak me out, I was squirming inside but I stayed), I started to pat her head and continued to talk even though she didn’t answer. In a while, she told me to assist her in sitting up (which I did) and in a while she was clinging to me. She told me “we’re going to heaven, I can see Jesus now”. I froze.

I could say books are really of no use to me that time. Not any of those can teach a person how to communicate with people whose minds are wandering. Although I was getting pissed off when she kept on covering her head when she was already having fever, I was amazed on how I reacted and how I really saw myself be therapeutic. I told her “Nanay, alisin po natin yang kumot niyo para hindi kayo lalong mainitan. Kailangan po natin iwasan ang pagtaas ng temperatura niyo para hindi kayo sasaksakan ng gamut.” And in a while, she removed it by herself and stared at me again. I got used to it. I never left her side for the whole 8 hour shift (except when I had my break and when I had to do my charting) and I observed that whenever someone would talk to her in a nice and concerned way, she’d stare at that person. Upon giving medications and taking her vital signs, she was cooperative as long as someone would support her.

I only had to make up for 8 hours because I was excused for my absence. If I weren’t, I’d make up for24 hours. After that shift, I let my mind wander while my dad drove the car. And I thought, I’d pursue my dream of being a Psychiatric Nurse…

The whole of December allowed me to meet my friends. Despite our busy schedules, we were able to make time for each other and I’m very happy about it. I thought of it – how much more when we’re working already? Tsk. A lot have changed but they’re still the same, we I meant haha. Eye bags have been a common topic and I’m glad I don’t have them even if I don’t get enough sleep. And speaking of eye bags, a freshman once texted me that she’s got them thanks to endless reviews – she ranted on major subjects offered. In my mind, I thought: You haven’t reached the duty phase and you seem tired of it already. And to myself, I haven’t reached the RN phase yet but I speak of Nurse Volunteers as lazy people (well I told you, most of them are haha – check my previous post).

Wait, I got far from what I was saying about my meetings with my friends. When I meet with any of them, it’s always scheduled at dinner time so we could eat together and we could stay longer. I didn’t realize we missed a lot of things – updates of every one. I tell you it’s really been that long. Sigh. I suddenly felt lazy haha. Basta I’m happy we all met. Now I’ve got a reason to update my friendster and multiply page. Uploading pictures will be tough. Eks dee.

December 24 – Naghanda kami para kay Lolo at Jameel (kapatid ko) nung hapon para sa selebrasyon ng birthday nila nung 16 at 17. Pardon the wrong spelling of celebration in tagalog, I’ve always been slow. Sigh. Anyway, we invited our childhood friends, my parents and brothers were there of course, and some other people. My grandpa led the prayer and he cried. He was touched I know but I also feel that he’s sending us a message that it might be his last birthday with us. I’m hoping it would not be yet. I always wished that my grandparents would attend my graduation this College. He’s my last grandparent because his wife and my grandparents in the father side have passed away. Noche Buena: I know I ate too much again. The ham was irresistible! I’m glad again that we were able to celebrate it with my complete family. The original plan was for my father to celebrate it in Baguio with his siblings but he stayed with us. Yay.

All in all, I was really happy. Now why did I say that this Christmas was dreadful? Pfft. I’ll take that back. How was your Christmas? ;)

P.S. I edited this post when I came across a post by some of my ka-link exchange. TWILIGHT FILIPINO VERSION? OMG! It's not that I'm against Filipino film makers but hello?! PLEASE! TAKIPSILIM?? It isn't funny anymore. A little respect. For God's sake, I'm really annoyed about it. The book and movie is good enough. Sheesh. Lahat na lang ginagaya.

Carlisle is love. haha

2008-12-09T07:50:00.004+08:00

"Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you.."
-Twilight (book)

Since everyone got crazy over Twilight and of course Edward,
I didn't give much emphasis on the movie because it was disappointing for me.
Movie fans might hate me for this but seriously, it wasn't what I expected. The book was just too good to be true. And yes, movies are not perfect either, I got that.
Edward's voice was just not... deep harhar!
Rosalie was not that... sexy.
Jacob didn't impress me either, sigh.

By the way, I found this article in the multiply site of my friend, TWiLiGHT MOViE ERRORS.
You might want to read it.

Despite all these, I am irrevocably in love with Carlisle. Well then, I'm looking forward to improvements for the soon-to-be-filmed New Moon.
And yes, I'm hoping Midnight Sun will be finished, the introduction is too intriguing.

Carlisle fan!

Hella Week!

2008-11-19T00:36:00.002+08:00

"Speaking for others is easier..."

It's been a hell week. I've been so stressed that I haven't even updated anything yet. No new pics at friendster and multiply; I didn't even notice the problem at friendster. Sigh.

My grandfather died last Saturday (November 15, 2008) because of septic shock (as said in his death certificate). I was in Oasis, La Union that night with my parents and siblings when my cousin called us that grandpa was barely breathing and he was brought to the hospital. By the time we were about to go to Baguio, they called and declared that grandpa was dead.

It was so fast... Friday night: I monitored grandpa's vital signs every hour knowing that his BP and temperature was not stable. After 3 hours of stable vital signs, I went back downstairs and endorsed grandpa to my cousin. I told him to check his temperature; place it in his armpit for 10minutes to be accurate before reading. Saturday morning: I wasn't able to check on him because I had my Skills Lecture that morning. By lunch time, I went home and checked grandpa's vital signs again. He was really sweating a lot and told me to tell my cousin to boil water for him. He looked really fine.. Saturday night: We had a night out with my family at Oasis. By 10:20, they called and told us that grandpa was dead.

There has been a lot of problems at home lately and I couldn't put my thoughts together on what to prioritize. This Thursday, I'll be having my duty at Atok, Benguet. I don't know if I'll be able to attend the funeral. I feel bad because I know I needed to be in both places..

Right now, I'm really confused. I should be packing my uniform and things because we'll be travelling to Atok tomorrow afternoon. Yada yada. Aja!

2008-11-03T15:05:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since the issue on Dean Tingda's resignation was opened.

And now we're suffering the consequences of not having her around.

Who's to be blamed? Easter College's Administration.

10:30 A.M -- My dad and I was at school for the parent-faculty-admin meeting. Unfortunately, there was only one representative from the admin, the vice president. She was questioned and actually "nabasag" in front of the parents and students. Our parents were tired of waiting. The parents questioned her why the other board of trustees couldn't be reached.

Parent: During the first open forum, you promised to give out the announcement before exams. We were trying to reach the other b.o.t's (board of trustees) pero nasaan sila?

Nasa Malaysia yung secretary, nasa Korea naman ang isa. Yung bishop pinasa sa'yo at ikaw daw ang pagtatanungan namin!

B.O.T vice president: Hindi ko alam at hindi natin sila macontact dahil wala sila dito sa school. In terms of enrollment, we have point/key persons who will handle it. It still runs tulad ng dati. And I'm here to listen to all your sentiments.

Other Parent: No! The administration is deaf. Do not say the school is fine. We all know it isn't. Everyone is lost, hindi namin alam kung ipapa-enroll pa namin ang mga anak namin dito. Walang dean, wala ang faculty, sinong maghahandle sa mga anak namin? Dapat ngayon nasa klasrum ang mga anak namin at nag-aaral. Ang iba nasa Mankayan, ang iba nagdu-duty na pero wala!

B.O.T vice president: (silenced)

We haven't enrolled for the second semester yet and classes have started in other institutions. We do not have a Dean for the College of Nursing. The department does not have secure faculty members. We are all at loss.

The administration has promised a new "dean" or a "officer-in-charge" from Trinity University of Asia but it is I guess - a lie by the admin again. Who's to facilitate the enrollment? Unknown.

I've never felt so mad in my entire life. The damn b.o.t president is to be blamed. If it wasn't for his insecurity, we shouldn't be this confused and lost. I feel that my future is doomed in this school. We could've transferred last week if only the announcement was brought out in the agreed date but no. They delayed us so that we won't have a choice but to stay at Easter College. The administration is always reassuring us of something unreal. Sigh. What's to be done? We'll wait and see.

Glimpse at the Medical Ward

2008-10-19T13:14:00.006+08:00

Finally, the schedule of our comprehensive and final exams are out.

Communicable Health Disease - October 20, 2008
Nursing Research - October 22, 2008
NCM 101 & 101a (Comprehensive Exam) - October 22, 2008
NCM 101 (Final Exam) - October 23, 2008

And oh, I forgot to include our research defense on October 21, 2008. Sigh. This is just great. We didn't even meet the deadline for the submission of our CDX (community diagnosis).

Last October 16-18, 2008:
we had our duty in the Medical Ward at Baguio General Hospital.
So far, of all the wards I've been to for this semester, I'd say this is where ones skills are really honed. I learned a lot especially in terms of medications (i-drug study mo ba naman ang 10-13 na gamot ng pasyente mo hehe) and I was able to do more than I did in the other wards.

October 16, 2008, the patient of my classmate died. It felt very heavy for us all. We were there for two weeks and my classmate handled her for 6 shifts. We witnessed her struggle as well as her family's efforts to hold on. Somehow I felt mad at her doctor. Where was she when her patient was suffering that much?
Really, it felt so heavy we went to the Nurses' Lounge and cry. After that, we prayed for her. Bilib naman ako sa mga doktor at staff nurse, they really stood their ground and didn't shed a tear. Maybe after handling a lot of situations like this, they became, I dunno - immune?

It was in this ward that I saw a glimpse of other people's desire to treat. Nurses who practice there for a short time are called nurse fellow. I don't know why others are just so -- pabaya. I'm going to state some instances (based on my shift and only in the patients I handled):

8 PM - Responsibilidad ng fellow nurses ang magbigay ng IV medications. Naibigay ko na lahat ng oral medications ng pasyente ko for 6PM at ang pwede ko na lang ibigay ng 8PM ay Lactulose (syrup). Pinaalala ko sa nurse fellow(in charge of my patient) na ibigay niya yung IV med ng pasyente ko, sinabi niyang "Ay meron ba ading? Tapos na kasi shift ko, i-eendorse ko na lang sa susunod". May miting ang mga staff at fellow nurse sa nurses' station at nagpiktur-piktur pa. Natapos yun ng 8:47 at hindi pa dumating mga fellow nurse ng susunod na shift. 9:03 na, saka lang dumating ang susunod na shift. Delayed ang pagbigay ng IV medication. Binigay ng fellow nurse on duty yung IV med ng 9:30. Para saan pa ang ginagawa ng student nurses na Incident Reports at pag-iingat kung mismong Registered Nurses(hindi lahat) ay hindi gumagawa ng tama?
Blood transfusion (BT) -Before inserting the line for BT, they thawed the blood pack in a basin of tap water - it is not ideal to do so.
IV line - Pasyente pa mismo ang naglakad palapit sa akin para sabihing paubos na ang 'dextrose' niya. Nagpanik ako't ini-'off' ko ang IV line niya sabay pumunta sa nurses' station. Sinabi ko sa nurse fellow in charge at sinagot niya ako ng "tignan mo nga sa chart niya kung may 'to follow' at tanungin mo sa kasama niya kung merong IV sa bedside niya..." Hindi ba't siya ang may responsibilidad niya yun? Pagkatapos kong gawin yun at sinabing walang stock yung patient, saka lang siya nagpareseta ng 'dextrose'. Hay. Paanong hindi made-delay ang mga IV fluids kung late inihoo-hook? Hindi pa yung tamang oras ng paghook ang isinusulat sa IV 'paper'.
Doctor - I was doing my sample charting when my patient's doctor and a nurse fellow came to me. "Delayed na yang IV fluids ah. (Tumingin sa nurse fellow at sinabing..) ... Pakiregulate mo nga." . Bumilis ang pagpatak ng 'dextrose' sa rate na 21 gtts/min. Umepal ako. "Sir mali po yan kasi 500mL lang yang 'dextrose'.". Sumagot ang doktora "Diba dapat 20-21 drops yan? Kaya nade-delay ang IV fluids eh." (Kausap niya yung fellow nurse). Nagexcuse ako at umalis. Kinompyut namin ng groupmate ko ang rate ng IV. PNSS 500mL x 12 hours (macrodrip) = 10.21 = 10 gtts/min. Sinong mali ngayon? Bumalik ako. Wala na ang doktora. Sinabi ko habang hawak ang 'dextrose', "Sir, 500mL lang ito." Ini-regulate ng fellow nurse sa 10 gtts/min. Di kami nagpansinan pagkatapos.
Chemotherapy - The watcher has bought the needed IV line and 'chemo-dextrose'. I called the fellow nurse on duty because we weren't allowed to hook it. She came and has hooked it together with the main line (like what the other fellow nurse did in the blood transfusion). And then she went back to the nurses' station. Nagtataka ako bakit nakatakip ang 'dextrose' ng carbon paper. Sinabi ko sa clinical instructor ko at sinabing takpan ko rin daw ang IV line dahil decreased ang epekto ng chemo-drug. The drug was photosensitive. Iniwan lang ng fellow nurse na ganun ang IV line kaya tinakpan namin ng carbon paper at coupon bond.

Hindi lahat ng fellow nurses na nakasama ko ay ganun. Meron akong dalawang nakasamang hindi pabaya. Every now and then, they'd come to the far end of the ward (Hema-onco; I was assigned here for the last two days) and check on the patients and even ask me how our patients were doing if I would pass by the nurses' station. I wished the other fellow nurses were like them. They even reminded me of the medications I shouldn't forget. ;]

Honga pala, wala akong sembreak talaga. Sa ika-27 ng Oktubre 2008 magsisimula ang enrollment ng Nursing. Hay... Tapos sa ika-30 ng Oktubre naman ay magsisimula ang advanced duty namin. Ay! Meron pala akong sembreak, sa ika-1 at 2 ng Nobyembre! Saya-saya, natapat pang Sabado at Lingo. T_____T

2008-10-15T22:25:00.004+08:00

It was a fine day I thought. And I did shut up. :}

I went to SM awhile ago and bought the biggest jawbreaker I could find. And yes, I was able to buy one for my brother. It cost me 96.00 for a single candy, but I did owe my brother anyway.

I always wondered what colors it had. Awhile ago, I got my answer. He sliced it into two (yes despite its hardcore coat, my brother was able to divide it) and I saw a wonderful result. Here it is:

(in the middle is a powdery substance I do not know what it is named
but it tastes like ascorbic acid haha)

I could derive something from it.

"Despite the hardcore coat jawbreakers wear, it bears different colors and taste as it slowly unravels its heart.."

Yada yada, tinotopak lang talaga ako lately haha! I'm having my duty at the Medical Ward again tomorrow. 7 to 3 shift, God help me. Sigh.

And oh, we don't have any sembreak. Details soon when I finally get back to myself haha.

In behalf of my September 2008

2008-10-05T13:08:00.010+08:00

Whoa! It's been really long since I've posted anything. One month? Gosh. Haha.

Anyway, I've been really busy with life. Studies is my life.
A lot of issues has been recognized and resolved and there are those that are still being addressed.
I'm in the mood for updating so I'm gonna start writing stuff. Warning: It's gonna be long haha. :)

Our first graveyard (11 PM to 7AM) shift happened last September 3 to September 6. It was as well my mother's birthday when we traveled to Lepanto. I wasn't able to join her celebration with my dad and siblings. Sigh. It was Wednesday when we traveled after our 5PM class in NCM. When we arrived in Lepanto, we were really tired. We barely had 2 hours to take a nap and prepare for our 11PM shift.
___How did the shift go? Well. That was where I got my first I.R(Incident Report) from Ma'am Macy. I made a small erasure in the TPR sheet because a line went overboard when I plotted the values. We didn't eat much that time because in the morning, some of my group mates went to sleep while the others went to the market(I was one of them) and those who waited for us for them to be able to cook. It was also devastating because we weren't able to bring much of our stuff which made us borrow things from the other group.
___For my two nights, I was assigned at the OB-ward with Prenell. The both of us handled the whole ward. I took care of a mother and her infant. Gosh, her baby was real big and heavy -- which makes the baby reaaallly cute! :)
We also weren't able to take much pictures when we were in the capital already. We just wanted to finish what we needed to do for us to be able to sleep.
When we arrived at Baguio - Saturday noon time, I immediately went home and without hesitations, I slept the whole afternoon and woke up at 9PM. My parents and siblings were done eating dinner and yes, they bought a family size pizza. There were still a lot of cake (gifts for my mum from her officemates and friends) and yes, indulgence hahaha!

For the next two weeks of September, we didn't have any duty. We did our Research proposal. We defended our Research problem on September 17 and our problem was fully approved! Yay for us! It was a pioneer study so I guess it's a challenge for us to really make it grand. Yippee!

I freaking missed ice cream. We don't have any communication anymore. The last time was when we agreed to meet at SM. As usual, when I told him I wanted to hangout that very moment, he'd come whatever happens. But this time, he didn't. He let me down and that was the time I decided to stop dreaming. Haha. Well, that's the truth. I had to face it. As of now, when I think of it, I guess, I'm okay. Sigh.

During those two weeks of doing our research proposal and problem, we had an overnight stay at Eka's house. We were able to finish what we needed to do and of course, take pictures at the same time. It was a fun and tiring night too. What we did was a success. As of now, we're preparing our defense for our Chapters 1 to 3.

It was Scarlet's birthday. We decided to make a simple surprise party for her debut. We bought her a cake and gave 18 packs of pancit canton (haha) and the fun part is we celebrated it with her in Singgles with our complete group members. Although there were those who didn't drink alcohol, it was good that they stayed with us even for a while (pakikisama) for Scarlet.
___T.J came as well. Haha, I don't want to address what we did here anymore. It was a foul play I admit because we were playing bitchy against Jael and T.J. Our issues are now resolved.
___We sang our hearts out too. Haha. There were a lot of people that day at the bar even though it was still 4PM. They were also celebrating the birthday of their own friends. Haha.

We finally had our ARAS. Before that day, our issues with Jael aggravated and a lot of tension was observed. It made our working relationship hard because the quality of work we were doing were affected. So after we were able to submit our research output, we decided to have our ARAS up in the mountains near our school. It was a success because we were able to address our own issues and problems, as well as suggestions to one another. It was good we were able to do this because our third community exposure was coming and it would be very, extremely hard for us to work together if it wasn't resolved.

The fourth week of September was our third community exposure. We were transferred from Kiangan to Sadanga. It was a far better staff house compared to Kiangan. We had our own bathroom and comfort room, had a better sleeping room and everything in the house looked new hehe. Well, it is comfortable for short. We went to Gravel Pit and it was hell tiring. Literally, we went down a mountain and talked with the community people there and then went back up to our staff house before 6PM. I couldn't imagine people residing there have to walk that far just to go to school, market and even travel to other places. We visited our target clients and families, we also went around Kiangan, Taaw and Sadanga to take the folks' blood pressure. And here, we had the chance to take pictures in Lepanto haha! :)

After our third community exposure, we arrived at Baguio shocked with what we have seen at the school. The grounds were dirty and manila papers and cartolina were posted all over the walls of the school with notes and comments from the students. That same evening, we stayed to listen to Dean Tingda's speech. It was really heartbreaking to listen to all of those but we needed to know all the reasons so we stayed. I spoke in behalf of the third year's, specially to those transferees like me. It was when we have finally found a home for us, a good mother (Dean) and second parents (faculty), it is now that we would be left. Just when we were about to grow as one. It was hard for us all. And even though we had options (as said by the Dean and other faculty), it still felt painful because really, Easter College is our new home now. Open letters were given by the parents, faculty and students but still the damn administration accepted the resignation letter. The dean has spoken and she said she would reconsider her resignation if her issues were addressed. The atmosphere that time was very sad. It was in that general assembly that the faculty announced their resignation too. I really felt sh*tty that time.

Sunday, September 28. I was there at the PNA building when the parents and the Dean had their talk. The Dean gave her speech, as what I have heard in the general assembly the night before. There were a bit additional info she didn't tell us students and it was in favor for us. As I sat there and looked at everyone in the room, I could feel the power of the parents, really. They were determined as we, the students were. Soon, they planned on making a letter addressed to the administration of Easter College demanding an open forum which later happened the next day.

September 29. Rally. It was a beautiful Monday morning. I arrived at school before 7:30 wearing a black shirt and jacket (it was the discussed color to be worn during the rally). There were a few people there, posters and banners were attached all over the gate, the walls of the school and even the students. Soon, the president came with his body guard. Note, body guard. How scared is he? Haha. He just passed by (and he was booed by the students as he went) and read the banners in front of the gate. Everyone was yelling at him but no one dared touch or throw a thing at him (dignity purposes haha) although we wanted to. After that, he was reported to have taken a taxi and rode at the other gate. Soon, students flocked. Duties, community exposures and even classes were boycotted. After some reminders from the student body, we finally rallied up to the admin building. We were restricted up to the gate entering the elementary and highschool building but we continued our rally. Soon, the Easter College bus was started and we didn't allow the bus to pass by. They used the bus as a threat to overran us and yes, the stupid driver really did use it as a means to break us. As it reached the gate, we wanted to get out because it really was threatening to overran us but the boys as our front liners used the gate as a weapon against the bus. The others pounded and kicked the front of the bus. When the students became wild and was getting restless because of that, the driver came down and was threatened of being beaten up for what he had done. He said he just wanted to pass by because he needed to fetch some fuc*ing important persons. Sheesh. Whatev! So there, when we let the bus pass (people pounded and kicked the bus as it passed by), we took the opportunity to run up to the admin building. We really did disrupt the classes of the highschool and elementary (haha). Not one administrative member came out of the building and listen to us. And guess what, the president was not there.
___When the president came, he was blocked and surrounded by students and the media. He gave his speech (he was talking to the freaking camera) and even called us a mob. Whatever, he was such a chicken for not facing us.
___After that, we returned to the main gate and had a short meeting with the student body for some reminders and information. The open forum was to be held granted that we were "makakap-kapan" before entering the gym. How stupid.
___I hang on to every word the administration, faculty, students, parents and the Dean said. It was very very obvious that the president was INSECURE of the Dean's support and hard work. As he was introduced and as he sat there, no one gave a clap for recognition. When it came to Dean, everyone did clap and students even yelled for support. Anyway, back to the speech on what the president said. He kept pointing out that Dean is different from him, that he is not a nurse and all, that he has his own leadership style(yea right -- leadership of sitting at his office all day or even travel to other places just to escape from work and leave it to the dean) and the like. He was clearly separating himself from dean and when the parents got fed up, they told the president frankly that they were there to address the Dean's issues and not the president's issues. The president couldn't speak when the faculty said all the things he mentioned during their meeting which involves the risk of the College of Nursing's losing a lot of connections made by dean, the risk of losing the senior faculty and the risk of letting the passing rate of Easter College fall even below 50%. He just admitted to what kind of leadership style he has. And yes, we don't even have student handbooks together with other concerns the students have.
After the long talk among the students, faculty, parents, and alumni, the parents
asked for a two-week wait so as to prepare us (their children) if ever they wouldn't consider Dean Tingda's come back. (Pictures during the rally)

As for our last community exposure (October 2 to 4) for this semester, we had a hectic schedule of activities. Time constraint was pressuring us for tallying and finishing the results of Marivic's survey. It really is a big problem because the result of the survey didn't meet the population's number. Where were the survey forms? I don't know. The other groups didn't endorse nor give it to us for tallying. Sigh. It's starting to get very busy again because we have to prepare our defense for our Research defense on Chapters 1 to 3, we will be having our comprehensive exam a week before finals and we have to finish the community diagnosis before October 11. And one more thing, we will be having our duties for the next two weeks. How the hell are we going to budget our time with this? Huhu.

This is the week we will be hearing the result of our efforts for letting the administration of the school to reconsider Dean Tingda's resignation letter. It will be determining our future. God help us.

2008-08-12T21:41:00.006+08:00

"Florence Nightingale didn't develop principles from place to place for economic development ..

but for services."
- Sir Alad-iw; History 6 (Asian Civilization)

♣♣♣ I remember taking down this quote when I was about to pack my things after my history class. We were talking about the Health Care system of Afghanistan where there were a lot of volunteers for the war before. Anyway, I admit I misjudged Osama Bin Laden. Reading through articles where Sir Alad-iw encouraged us to read on, there was no sufficient evidence to prove that the Taliban were the ones who did the Twin Tower attack. Some articles revealed that America was after something. Could it be oil? .. I'd say that the attack was perfectly planned. That the Talibans were framed, specially Osama Bin Laden. Now, I'm encouraging others to read on Osama's background. He came from a very rich family, one of the prominent ones in Saudi until there were twist and turn of events. I'm not saying that Osama didn't contribute to any of the reasons, but he wasn't the main reason for the attack.

♣♣♣ We came back from Mankyan last August 9 and I caught colds. It was really raining hard there and the floor we were sleeping on was cold. The house was quite scary that night because it was raining hard and you could really hear it because the house is made of galvanized iron.
By the way, I'd like to share some of the sceneries I've taken there. :D

(It really looked like heaven.. The temperature was freezing I swear!)

(View from one of the rooms.)

(Most loved shot. It's a closer view. :D)

Although the temperature was freezing, we really had fun going out. The people was so welcoming that they were the ones who warmed the place. We will be going back to Mankayan on September because we finished our first two weeks. The sad thing is, we're the last group to go there so we have to finish the Community Diagnosis and we're the ones who will collate the data. OMG!

(A closer look at D3, my group. We wore our community uniforms at last! Yes, we're all girls. Pinagkaitan kami ng lalake. haha!)

♣♣♣ There wasn't much going on lately. It's just that "Ela-ela" was being a blabber. I recently discovered that she was being hated by a lot of people. Upon knowing this, we decided to keep it low and let the others discover it by themselves. Ahh. This is too personal to be posted. She might be lurking amidst my journals and find this. Eek!

Anyway, Berna treated me to KFC awhile ago. Yehey, free food! Hahah! We had a personal talk. And I'm not mentioning it because it's still related to Ela-ela. We had the same feelings that we were treated like alila's. This isn't friendship anymore, they're being too self-centered already.

♣♣♣ 4 hours NCM awhile ago! It was really tiring! Because of that, I asked our instructor if she was still teaching a nursing concept or was it a medical concept already. She's a doctor! We don't need those kind of information. The other classes were laughing at our hand-outs that cost P20.00(.50 cent per page) that we were reviewing for our quiz a while ago. I envy them because their topics are summarized unlike us. =(

♣♣♣ Well, that's it for now. I'm hoping that I'd meet my best friend tomorrow. God, I so miss him! =)

2008-08-03T16:51:00.000+08:00

It's raining again.
The rain reminds me of someone because everytime we're together,
it always rains. He emphasized this too when we got stuck in a store one rainy evening.
I remember our first meeting,
I rushed to SM after class and I was damn wet and groggy (improper term haha).
It was cold but when I entered Quantum, the atmosphere was different.
Anyway, I don't know why but it's really fun walking in the rain.
Yes, we're childish or whatever you call it
but it's one spectacular experience haha.

My shift in the Male Surgical Ward ended yesterday (July 31 to Aug 2; 7to3 shift).
I'd say it was always a busy day there. It was also hard for me because my patient was non compliant of the exercises recommended but he eventually gave in after his catheter was removed so he has to walk to the comfort room.
I've learned that communication is one essential tool in dealing with patients who are in pain. It was my first time to handle a male teen who was in pain because of the operation. Males are not fond of expressing their emotions, yes I experienced that with my patient, and my only cues were his nonverbal actions. He didn't speak that much maybe because of shock from what happened to him.
Again, it was my first time to cry in the area. (God, so embarassing!)
Why? Because I felt like a failure when my instructor assigned me to the whole ward when he went on a break and I know I did my part but when I reached my patient, his IV almost ran dry!! For God's sake, I endorsed my patient to Shiera but she didn't report the IV line was almost drained when I got back. It's no use blaming her because of course, my patient is my responsibility no matter what. I just can't stand the fact that Shiera didn't do her part.

We'll be going back to Mankayan on Thursday. I don't feel like leaving town again but I want to enjoy nature's benefits hehe. It's really a province there and I miss La Union. Sigh.

Hmm, so there, got to do my work now. I have to start my FNCP that is due on Thursday, I've got 1 rotational exam and 2 major quizzes tomorrow. So which is which? :(

2008-07-28T10:04:00.006+08:00

It's been a while since I've posted again.

I was away from the computer for four days because we went to our first community exposure in Mangkayan, Benguet. I only didn't learn more about my profession but more of what reality means.

(with the students; after our physical assessment)

Mangkayan, Benguet is not considered as a remote area. The land we stayed on was formerly known as Lower Sapid but now as Marivic. Upper Sapid is now known as Poblacion. We only handled Marivic because other groups were assigned to Poblacion and Gravel Pit.
We reached Marivic after one hour (I guess) from Abatan which was really a long way because there isn't an actual road there. Well there was, but it isn't solid cement but a rocky road. The total traveling time from Baguio is 4 hours.
Upon reaching Marivic, it was a simple community where bank houses could be seen. Shanties are considered the squatter's area because the bank houses are supplemented by the mining company there.

One of our objectives was to finish the physical assessment of the Grade 4 students which the previous group haven't finished. To make the work fast, we divided the systems to be assessed with ourselves and I was assigned to the heart and breast.
It was awkward for me and the student upon assessing the breast. Although they are still young, there were those who were having their menstruation cycle already so I taught them SBE (self-breast examination). With the heart, there wasn't much problem with the assessment. It was my first time to hear an S3 in a 10-year old boy. We endorsed him to the next group as to monitor and if they could visit his home.

The main problem we observed in the community is their hygiene. Most of the children have dental caries, lesions and wounds. They became our target clients and we plan to do health teachings in the school when we go back.

Reality? It was around us. We felt it and we were one with them.

***

(July 26, 2008; at Dawn's birthday celebration)

This was the first time me and my Louisian friend's met after many months. I observed a lot of changes but what can I do if I was the one who was separated. Sigh. There are a lot of factors why I didn't want to leave St. Louis University. Not only the name of the school but also the people I got separated from. Anyway, this was one happy night. (Kagagaling ko sa community nito. Instead of going home immediately, I still went here hahah!)

***

(July 27, 2008; Franz and I at KFC, SM Baguio)

This was also the first time Franz and I met. I went to her school and she introduced her friends. I'm happy for her that she has already moved on. Although it's hard for a lot of us, it really takes time to heal the wounds of separation.

We really pigged out this time. It's quite embarrassing to elaborate what we ate haha. So there, I told her what happened the night Ice cream and I went out. We even went to those places. Namiss ko tuloy siya, hay.

2008-07-16T22:34:00.003+08:00

"Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image."

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Preserving relationships was one of the things she was good at. Never failing to remember, she always communicated with friends far and near. And then she earned a lot of trust and friendships as well as enemies.

For most, trust is something that is not easily given as well as taken back. Some may deserve it and there are those who don’t deserve it as well. It always depends on something (relationship) shared by two persons to have it. It may not also guarantee a friendship but risks and arguments.

I’ve never deleted this message in my inbox since this morning:

“Bale ang sabi niya: ‘aq nga din ncraan, d na nga kami nagki2ta cncraan pq..parang gn2.’Sb q pa barkada kita sa SLU., alam nya dn na asa easter ka ngaun..” –Turtle Princess

The message was sent by my friend studying at a different school. Coincidentally, she became classmates with Tina. (I don’t mind naming her.) The only thing I don’t get is why she has to tell my friend, Turtle Princess, about our past. That argument was already talked over and both sides agreed it was okay. And then I’d hear this from my friend? God. Please. What more can she say to other people then? Ah as for me, I found it irritating a while ago but I’m okay with it. I just told my friend that it’s up to her if she’ll believe Tina or not; she knows me and I’m confident about it. I have admitted my mistakes to them. But I don’t understand why certain issues have to be brought up yet.

Because of this event, I reflected all day. I wasn’t focused much on my exam because I was thinking of the things I have done the past days, months and even years. It came to a point that I’d shut my eyes and forget about it because it is the past. I don’t know why people bother about it. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, as I’ve reflected, I realized that I wasn’t that bad (haha!). I had my share of acknowledgements and humiliations because of my behavior, not only to my family and friends but even to the people I interact with in the hospital. I’ve remembered these things because of a reaction paper for our Research subject. It doesn’t have any connection to the subject matter but I guess it was an evaluation tool for us in the clinical area. Being in the nursing profession is really something different. It changes a lot of things positively.

“People will always judge whatever status in life you have.. No one can please everyone.” – Gem

Oddness

2008-07-13T17:51:00.005+08:00

It's a Sunday and I've been reviewing the whole morning. I took a break and here are the things I found.
And oh, I'm up to odd things today. I don't know why but I guess it's because I failed to go to mass (Yikes!).

So anyway, I've been browsing in the feeds of my Mail and came across this odd news.
I've heard about the kid who accidentally or intentionally ate the 1-peso coin but that news was different.
Although he was mentally ill, I do not understand the fact that he'd eat things. Hmm, probably he was hungry?

This is another article I've read today.
It made me think about the relations of North and South Korea as we've discussed in our Asian Civilization subject.
Although their country seems to be uptight and one of the pioneering countries in Asia,
the problem always starts within. Tsk.

One good news: Jolie delivered twins. The article here.
Wow, I didn't expect them (Angelina and Brad) to be this tight and are still going strong. I guess my notions about some Hollywood stars are wrong haha!

So then, I'm going to start encoding my notes now. Ta-ta! (totally bored)

Mixed signals

2008-07-11T19:13:00.004+08:00

I don’t care what other people say. It’s me and I’m not a fake.

The other day, I learned that some girls would kill for their crushes. Yep, take note – crushes.

In my new class, there is a certain group that I don’t talk to. I usually judge a person by how she interacts with other people – how she looks, talks, turns back at a person and even laugh. I can say when she’s real or not. (And erm, it’s a she because I don’t usually have any problem with boys.).

Anyway, I’m going back to what happened the other day. It was our NCM class and it was really boring. My buddies in class decided to cut class during our break. I stayed after the break cos I don’t usually get absent for a reason that I don’t trust other people’s notes haha! Our instructor checked our attendance before going home and everyone who was present had an additional 10 points for our CS. When it came to my buddies’ name, this certain girl shouted “abseeeent!” so loudly that she was being sarcastic. I was thinking about their issue and I just knew it was about a guy. Let’s name him “EGG”. Egg is liked by that sarcastic girl. But Egg talks to my friend more than her. Eversince, the sarcastic girl has been proclaiming damn things. And oh, have I mentioned that a friend of hers called a girl in their circle a monster? Yes. Being plastic.

I can’t tolerate these things. I know in time, I’m gonna be the f*ck-off-b*tch me again.

***

Ice cream called last night. I was having a severe headache and I guess it got worst when I was about to sleep. Here’s the thing: I understand him now. And I’m just glad that he realized his mistakes and gave me an explanation without asking for one. He admitted that he needed me (awwww) and he considers me as his best friend which I found amusing. Telling me he misses me and that he realized those times when we only met a few times in a month. Explaining his family issues with me (especially about his mom) made me think why he’s done such things before and I guess that... I’m his confidante. Yes, now I now he does need me and he’s troubled.

He was having a fever last night and I wanted to take good care of him. But like him, I was having my own issues – severe headache. So being a “student nurse” (haha), I asked for the drugs his doctor prescribed and told him the do’s and don’ts as well as things to do with his fever.

This morning, I don’t know if he’s fully recovered but he called again. It was a short talk because I was running late as usual. So after the call, I just sent a friendly-motherly message hahah.

***

I’ll be having my return demonstration for Nasogastric tubing and Urinary Catheterization tomorrow. I’m doing it for the second time (the first time from SLU) and there were a lot of modifications. Ah blahburb. I know I can do it. Aja!

***

Some people are so fake that they’d really do everything to bring someone down - so beware of people around you. You’ll never know when the real ones get fed up and turn the table against you.

First post for the month of July

2008-07-07T08:06:00.002+08:00

Time is really passing by quickly.

Sometimes I wonder if I can still keep up.
***

I had my duty last Thursday, and this time at the OB ward. I've had a lot of experience there.
I couldn't believe that the ward we were in was the Main Ward that consisted of 4 rooms with 34 or 35 beds! and there was still the extension near the Gyne Ward with 10 beds or more. Gosh. Take note, all the beds had patients in it.

The things I experienced in that ward was the insertion of suppository meds, skin testing, preparation of IV med(dammit!) and other personal stuff. The happy part is the babies! There were really a lot of them. I love the baby of my patient, she's the healthiest among the other babies I've seen in the ward. And yea, whenever the mother would go to the comfort room, I'm the one looking out for her baby. I then tried the reflexes (yes, learned it from MCN) and whoa, it's the first time I saw the concept of reflexes wahaha.

Another happy thing, I still don't have any I.R. :)

***

Yesterday, after going to mass, I met up with my cousin. I guess it's been more than a year since we've seen each other. After eating and shopping, we went to her brother's dorm. I stayed and talked with them till 9PM. I really missed the siblings. I wonder when we'll ever have a family reunion. Tsk. I hate my busy schedule. :(

On the way to the taxi stand, I saw my tita who also passed by that way. He was with my cousin and damn he looked really different since the last time we've seen each other. Yes, yes, I know, I haven't been seeing a lot of my cousins for a long time already. Anyways, gwapo kasi eh haha. :P

***

What else is new? We don't have any communication again. *sigh*

Multiply Premium - money making crap

2008-06-30T21:42:00.003+08:00

I feel so annoyed that Multiply has become like this.
It has been the best site for saving and sharing photos.
If it's for security reasons, that's the purpose of the PRIVATIZATION of
the albums.

They're really taking advantage this time cos a lot of people are using Multiply already.
Greedy money grubbers.

2008-06-26T18:31:00.002+08:00

I'm having my duty in the Gyne Ward this week.
Compared to last summers' duty,
this duty is less toxic.
Unlike before, we can't even sit down because of a lot of interventions
and medications given to our patients in the Medical Ward.
Thank God.
We're able to relax a bit and concentrate in our
SOAP charting haha!
(I'm getting good at it. My C.I praised me wahaha. Whatever.)

Okay,
back to work.
I've got to make my sample NCP and review a lot for tomorrow's quiz I guess.
Tata for now. =)

Emo mode

2008-06-22T20:52:00.003+08:00

Everyone becomes emo once in a while,
and it's my turn today.

The sudden twist and turns of events lately has driven me crazy. I don't know what to expect from it. Once something comes, another one goes. Happiness is felt then sadness fills in the emptiness. Contented then, confused now.

Ice cream is the reason.

***

I haven't posted anything about the capping ceremony last time because the pictures taken of us weren't given yet. My mom was able to take pictures last time but I'm not contented with how it looks (haha) so I'm still waiting for the official photos.

***

My schedule for Monday to Wednesday:
- 1st class starts at 9:30 (Communicable Health Disease)
- 10:30 for Asian Civilization
- 2:00 for Research
- 3:00 to 6:00, my last class (NCM 101 lecture)

Thursday to Saturday: RLE which consists of Skills Lecture, Duty in the hospital and community exposure

A total of 21 or 23 units? I'm not sure. Got to check on that again haha.

***

How was my first week of regular classes? It felt like forever. My NCM 101 class for Monday to Wednesday was 4 hours. I always get a headache after that class and luckily, it is my last subject for the day. We haven't met our instructor for Research yet and it is said that our Dean will be the one who'll handle this subject. Eep!

We had our Skills Lecture for Thursday to Friday. The class starts at 8 AM and ends at 6P.M. Yep, whole day. The topics covered were oxygenation, fluid and electrolytes and IV therapy. I'm glad this is done. It was torture for us last Saturday because in the morning, we had our Return Demonstration for IV therapy then we reported at the afternoon and had our Rotational Exam in the evening. Our brains were terribly battered. Tsk. But then, I still managed to watch Iron Man (yes I know, I only watched it lately) till 12:30 AM.

***

I'd say I started my week right. I went to mass a while ago.
I learned that no matter how we try to suppress the facts, keep secrets and lies, it will always be known someday. Father compared it to the story he told during the Homily. "No matter how you try and try to fill the basket with water, the water will always leak out."

***

Duty ko na ulit sa Thursday to Saturday. At Baguio General Hospital; 7 to 3 shift at the Gyne ward. Oooooh, I'm excited!

The Day I Received my Nameplate and Invitation

2008-06-13T23:08:00.008+08:00

Dapat natutulog na ako ngayon.

Pero hindi eh. Sobrang excited ako.
Capping & Pinning Ceremony ko na bukas!!

We practiced from 9 A.M to 6 P.M (I guess) and we received our invitations and nameplates! I was so darn happy!!

This is the front page of our invitation card. It's quite transparent but it isn't obvious haha! It's Florence Nightingale with her lamp.

This is the second page after the transparent one. (Bilib naman ako sa pagka-engrave ng letterings hehe)

Inside. Yep, all our faces were in the invitation. The only problem is our faces were edited so most of us had our faces twice bigger. lol

Our pledge, also found in the invitation.

Our batch song, "Win" by Brian Mcknight.

The song of Florence Nightingale. We had to learn the song 4 or 5 days before the Capping and Pinning Ceremony.

Our tribute song for our parents, "You Raise Me Up". It should have been one of our mass songs but since we can't decide a good tribute song, we chose this.

The back of the invitation. =)

Ah, my very own nameplate! Finally!

My nameplate at the back of the invitation.

Hay nga naman. The things I do when I'm so excited haha. I really can't sleep so I made this post. =))

Destiny?

2008-06-05T19:17:00.004+08:00

"Fate remains wholly inexorable."

- The Wanderer

(Photo By: RedVamp)

Destiny, what is it? Does it exist?
For many, it does. Like everything happens for a reason.
That our lives revolve one another.
The world is too small that we eventually get to know people who are connected to someone we know and such stuff, they play such roles that sometimes disturbingly affect us gravely or not.

Random thoughts came to me.
I don't know why but I do not believe in destiny that is related to love.
Even though the shows that I've been watching lately has a lot to do with destiny,
yes, I know it is possible, but it doesn't convince me.
Although I am a superstitious person, it doesn't come to a point that I have to blame everything on karma and destiny. It may be just a coincidence. Gyaaah! Nababaliw na ako!!

***************************************************

It's been 3 years.. and I'm still expecting from that person, although I know I do not have the same feelings as before. Just a friend.. Friend...

***************************************************

The final date for our Capping and Pinning Ceremony is on June 14.
I'm hoping that my friends could come. I'm sure my whole family would be there. (smirks)

Sigh

2008-06-01T16:53:00.003+08:00

Today is the Capping Ceremony of my old classmates in St. Louis University.
As much as I wanted to go, two persons are only allowed to attend for each student. Yea, the university's reason is that they wanted the ceremony to be solemn.
So this morning, I just sent out a group message to all my Louisian friends and got wonderful and touchy replies.

One said, "Thanks Gem. you'll always be a part of our family..."

That message.. Hay. I cannot regret anything. Although I know I didn't give my best and just did what I merely can, I cannot, never blame anyone for this mishap.

But of course, I have to be happy now. I'm also receiving my pin and cap soon. Aja!

Confused thought

2008-05-30T15:13:00.002+08:00

"By striving to do the impossible, man has always achieved what is possible."
-Mikhail Bakunin

Lessons. Knowledge. Experiences. Life.

I believe man is hardly contented with what he has. And because of this discontentment, one is able to make and find ways of his own to satisfy it. I’m really amazed with a person’s ability to do it; it’s a way of coping I guess.

Science is one proof. It has inevitably improved our living and continues to increase our curiosity, as well as motivation to make us convenient with life’s pressures. But I wonder, how far will these go? Will it still continue having the same purpose? Tsk.

Striving for what is impossible sometimes gives us the opposite result of what we want – the possible. The quote is positive but I made it negative in a sense of today’s easy life and negligence. Oh well, vivi ridi ama!

Excited!

2008-05-27T20:51:00.002+08:00

"Well I guess that it's typical
to cling to memories you'll never get back again;
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago
Or a friend that you used to know."
-Unknown-

So it's been a while since I've updated my blog. I've been busy with my life. I needed a break from everything. I went to La Union last Friday and wasn't able to visit the beach even though it was only a few meters away because we are required to be here in Baguio and start the practice for our Capping Ceremony.

The important thing is, we started practicing for our Capping Ceremony (the most important ceremony for Nurses) yesterday. I'm veerrrry excited to wear my uniform as well as my cap and pin. This is one special day I won't forget. The ceremony would be held on June 12, 2008 at the Easter College Gym; the time? I don't know. Although our instructors have been announcing that there are still people who wouldn't be able to join the Ceremony because they might have failed NCM 100. As for me, I'm confident that I really made it because I know I did my best and it showed in my midterm grade (as one of the priority listed students for the uniform). I'm not boasting though, but this is one improvement after I failed the quota.

Hmm, the songs for our ceremony aren't interesting. We're still searching for a tribute song for our parents. The choices were Salamat(what the?), Thanks to You(the kinder sang this), Do I make You Proud(the previous batch used this so we had to change it). So till now, there aren't interesting songs. Any suggestions please? I'm not musically inclined so there isn't much I know. Tsk.

As for today, my dad, Jameel (my brother) and I had our dinner at KFC. My diet.... My die-t. But anyway, it's fun pigging out once in a while. I really ate too much when we ordered a bucket meal hehe. To think we also had a Grande Zagu each. What I've learned after that? Eat moderately.

Dark Paths

2008-05-20T22:53:00.005+08:00

"We all need a haven, a sanctuary, a place to hide, a place to escape, a place to dream and hope, a place where the darkness won't seem so frightening. So it is written, so it shall come to pass. But for some, the darkness is a relentless enemy that cannot be eluded. And once the darkness senses your fear, once it senses your pain, it is never far behind..."
- Scott Levy, "Raven"

There are times when I thought of giving up, finally laying down all my dreams and hopes and wait for whatever may happen. It came to me that everyone experiences this. It isn’t everyday that we step into the light and rejoice. Sometimes or even for some, most of the time, we tend to trip over and finally fall down to our knees and breakdown. Everyone has to cross that path, not to suffer alone but to learn from it. Yes, we cry, we isolate ourselves from the world; we even tend to hurt ourselves and the people who care for us. It’s not being selfish but finding time to reflect on our own helps us somehow determine what we really need to do.

I sometimes wonder how some people cope with their fears and dreaded hopes. I've encountered some who would rant and cry all day without doing anything about it and there are those I'd see crying in a wholly manner and later on stands firmly. Although coping mechanisms vary from one person to another, one would always find the solution in himself. The people who care serves as a support for him to stand once again on his own and the rest will depend on the will of the person to move on and learn from the experience.

Soooo Cold!

2008-05-18T21:43:00.008+08:00

Who said SM Baguio had the best architectural design? Guess again!

(Kawawang janitors, bahang baha ang 3rd floor, the escalator isn't even moving, we had to walk up!)

(I had to take the picture from a shop and zoomed it rather than standing in the middle and be blown away haha!)

(After playing at Quantum, we decided to take the elevator going down. The glass was wet because of the rain too! XD)

(Sa Atrium naman ito ng SM[sa loob pa rin]. As you can see, nakapayong na talaga kami at baha ang floor. Closed na rin ang ibang shop, mga 8pm pa lang ito, tsk!

(Nagsawa na kami. We decided to go home because it really was too cold! This was outside Pizza Hut's door. Sobrang lamig talaga tas ang lakas pa ng hangin nito. Pinakuha namin itong picture sa security guard. [Kawawa cam ko nito, basa pala kamay nung guard huhu].

May 17, 2008

We decided to have a break from school [before having our exams this week] so we met yesterday. It was really raining hard but we persisted in going to SM. At first it was only I, Aya and Franz who met and just texted Ian to come over. We ate at Mang Inasal for our snacks and proceeded to Quantum. We got crazy so we played until we spent and sweated enough. Franz saw my friends' ex and we took a video of him. Talk about playing detective. I'd show the video to my friend tomorrow hehe.

Hmm, after going to National Bookstore and SM Dept. Store, we headed to McDonald's for our dinner. It was then we noticed that the rain got stronger. There was even a temporary brown out for about a minute I guess.

And the hard part, when we went home. The taxi line was too long that the line reached the escalator! We knew we didn't stand a chance so we walked till Cathedral and waited for our rides there. Since Ian and Aya's boarding house was nearby, they walked home. As for Franz, she took the jitney and I stood there in the rain waiting for a darn taxi. If there was one place I'd be at that time, I'd prefer staying at the Post Office [close to Cathedral]. The umbrella was useless because my pants and shoes were soaked!! Luckily, God granted me a taxi in front of the Cathedral gate and the taxi driver even said that I was his last trip. I'm so blessed. So there, I reached home safely and from our place, you could've seen that half of Baguio has no lights. It was also scary last night because the wind could be heard howling and the roofs of our neighbors sounded that anytime, it would fly to our windows.

Ah.. Finally, the rain stopped tonight and there's electricity now. My Sunday was very boring. I had to sleep and lie all day. ;]]

Insensitive but happy...

2008-05-16T20:19:00.005+08:00

Caption of the picture:
It was taken in Tokyo Tokyo;
that's my favorite number kasi and that's his hand at the background.

We finally met after how many months again.
It was his birthday (May 15, 2008).

Paolo and I agreed to meet yesterday.
Nagsamba muna kami ng 6:30 P.M. It was my first time to enter Iglesia ni Cristo's temple(?).

We rode a jitney to SM and went to National Bookstore first.
(It felt awkward because the both of us were wearing formal clothes, especially him)
We then went to Tokyo Tokyo and had our dinner there.
It took us a while to talk and eat.

As we walked out,
Great! It was raining. We didn't have any umbrella (I forgot mine, I don't know where his was).
The taxi line was too long so we decided to walk until we reached the main gate of SLU.
Yes, we walked in the rain.
Haha, I don't know.
I felt happy acting like a mature kid.
We took some pictures and after a while,
we walked till New City (Piao Yan) Supermarket and
he was able to take a taxi for me (finally! haha).
So there.
I called to check on him when I arrived at home. Of course,
nasermonan nanaman ako.
But it was worth it.

P.S. About my recent post about cutting my connections with Paolo, forget it.
I can't and won't do it. =]]

Duty thoughts fulfilled!

2008-05-14T20:35:00.002+08:00

Today was our last day of duty for NCM-100a.

I felt so attached to my patient that I didn't want to leave her side the whole morning. Even though there was so much interventions to be done, I managed and did it leaving a feeling of comfort not only for me but also for my client.

When I arrived this morning, my client was wide awake and was already eating her breakfast. I received another solution again compared to yesterday (that I had to change with the assistance of a senior nurse). My patient is able to change from one position to another (which is a good improvement) and that her catheter was removed because of the progress notes I wrote (we were allowed to chart already =]) about her having a risk for infection.

I cleaned the area by sweeping the floor in the morning since the other patient's were done eating and we can't take their vital signs yet. I just remembered that a good and clean environment promotes faster recovery. Bed side care done. And I had to let her nebulize 3 doses of salbutamol aero-vent and the other I forgot haha.

Then 2P.M came. We had to go before 3 P.M (I was not able to carry out the order that I had to let my patient nebulize again since we were called for our clinical exam). But before the exam, we had to talk to our patient's that we were already leaving. My patient misunderstood me that I must be leaving for that day only but I will be leaving and a new nurse will be coming in tomorrow. She told me: "Gusto kitang maging nurse."
I was so touched that I almost hugged her. I wanted to cry. It was my first exposure and it was fulfilling to know that I have provided good nursing care for the past three days. I am so proud of myself! And when I explained that I won't be coming back again, her significant other told me that I should continue to give that kind of care and she thanked me for helping her in the work load.

This really is fulfilling for me. I'm looking forward for my next duty. =]

My First Duty

2008-05-12T21:30:00.002+08:00

I was very excited this morning that I forgot to take my vitamins. Err.
My first duty finally! My shift started at 7 A.M to 3:00 P.M.
We (my clinical instructor and group mates) met at the waiting shed of Baguio General Hospital at 6:15 A.M.
Ma'am Dulawan oriented us and we finally went to the "nurse's room".
We were assigned to the Female Medical Ward.

My first patient got discharged after we had our flag ceremony. (Grabe, I established rapport already then she suddenly told me she'll be leaving at 10 AM).
I told my instructor this and she assigned me a new patient.
I was able to establish rapport with them (the patient and her significant other) after a while because there were a lot of questions asked first. But then, they were accomodating after I already asked questions that were much personal (because it is needed for our output).

My first error: in the TPR (Temperature-Pulse-Respiratory) sheet, I was able to plot all the information correctly until I reached the urine output. Ma'am was dictating the information she read from my notebook and said my patient's urine output is 500 cc/IFC. So I wrote it under the 10AM shift and when I checked my notebook, it was 570! I had to erase it and when she checked it before returning it to the chart, she said that she didn't want errors. Okay I admit I should've checked it first before writing it down. So there was my first error. Haha.

In total, it was a good experience. AJA! Back to work. I have to do my journal report.

I'm fine...

2008-05-07T19:15:00.002+08:00

"..Am I supposed to be happy? When all I ever wanted, it comes with a price?.."

I wonder what I'm gonna write about today. Well, the same things happened anyway. I woke up, I ate, I commented on other people's blog, I did my rituals before going to school, I rode the jeep, I arrived in school, I had my Physical Assessment exam, I had to wait for my turn before I did my Physical Assessment Return demonstration, I went home, and now I'm typing these words. (Of course, the other activities such as riding a jitney back home was excluded ehehe)

Being a nosy person, I was able to persuade some of my friends who had arguments to reconcile. Hopefully, even though they wouldn't be like before, they would remain as friends.
So there, one good accomplishment for today.

I'm not proud of my score in my physical assessment RD. It was quite low because my classmates just pushed me to go first after I taught and quoted them on what to check on a specific area, their normals and deviations. Damn it. They thought I was going to do it perfectly but I did not because when my professor kept on interrupting me, I forgot a lot of things! I forgot where the proper lymph nodes were located and even the self breast examination.

What else? I don't know. I'm stuck in school for the whole day and our school is like 20 minutes away from the city. There. I can't really think of anything. (Laughs at myself)

Goodbye..

2008-05-06T08:50:00.002+08:00

Last night, I made a big decision. I don't know if I made it out of desperation or what, I just decided to cut all my communication medium with Him. It's useless anyway, even though we've been friends for four years, friends do not ignore each other. He could've told me to bug off rather than keeping quiet for a long time.

I was trying to reach him the whole Sunday afternoon until he finally answered his phone. And when he did, he just kept quiet while I kept on blabbering his name asking him to talk. Until I've had enough and sent him a text message saying you know, I'm mad and all. I'm expecting him to reply but unfortunately, he didn't.

Like what Lime said last night, "the first to show affection will always be the one to be dragged around" and "you should not show your weakness to him cos he could take advantage of it". Of all the people I've asked, it's Lime who made sense. When I asked for a suggestion of what to do about it, he told me that it is I who should decide, that I shouldn't let others decide for me. Okay, so he was really an expert with this things.

So I've made my decision, I'm cutting all of my communication mediums with Him.
I don't have to carry this burden every now and then, I get it. We've all got our lives to bother with. This is the only way to move on.

"There are two options why he kept quiet, he may be speechless because of some situations that are stopping him from saying so OR he doesn't really care anymore Gem.. After you made those calls, if he really is your friend, why wouldn't he even bother? And remember, one call is ENOUGH. Twice is already too much.." - Toni (Lime)

2008-05-01T22:15:00.003+08:00

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
-Phyllis Diller

Waaaah! I really can't understand guys even though I know much about them.
Why the hell did *Lime's friend give out my YM I.D to a guy named Charles? I'm so annoyed really. And then he kept on asking for my friendster address. Why would I give it out if I don't even know him personally? So there, I argued with Lime telling him that his friend Charles is pestering me. He just told me to ignore him but Charles kept on buzzing me until I finally told him to stop annoying me and miraculously, he did. I wonder what Lime told him wahaha.

But anyway, last Sunday was the last night of lamay of my Uncle Iping. My brother Stephen, Ismaelle, Bert and I slept there together with our parents. There were a lot of relatives and friends and so we decided not to sleep. Oh we were really up because they kept on giving us food (I could still remember the food: pretzels, peanuts, Piatos, chocolate and loaf) until we finally gave up and slept at 3Am. God, I wasn't comfortable sleeping in the balcony, it was my first time. I slept in the sofa of their balcony as well as Bert and Ismael. Luckily, di kami nagkasipon. Monday came, my Uncle Iping was laid to rest. It was the first time we had a family gathering again. I saw a lot of our relatives (mga first time pumunta doon) and as usual a lot of unknown people para makikain.

Tuesday, we had to come back to Baguio. I did nothing the whole day except watch Romantic Princess and I finished it last night. Well, as usual, the ending is bitin. ;]

Decreased ADL

2008-04-30T18:37:00.003+08:00

I had my exam for NCM today. Damn it, chicken!
I'm not boasting but the exam was really easy.
After the exam, we went home and I watched Romantic Princess the whole afternoon.
I don't know. It's as if everyday gets worser in terms of my adjusting situation.
Hay. I don't even have anything to say. Bukas na lang ako magkwe-kwento.

As of now, I'm really trying my best to adjust, start over and prove myself.
But I don't know how. :(

Soooo annoying!

2008-04-26T09:38:00.003+08:00

"Escaping is worse than making a wrong decision" - Hana Kimi (Taiwanese)

I shouldn't be this annoyed if the guy here in the computer shop isn't playing the same old song over and over again. Well, actually I'm annoyed because the song reminds me of my ex.
He sang the stupid song before and yea, as I've said, he has been playing it over and over.

About school,
our exams for NCM (Nursing Care Management) is delayed for next week. The reason is because of our section. Wahaha.
It isn't our fault anyway that the exams got delayed because our professor has been out for a couple of days and so we did our advanced lessons for the theories of nursing. The exam is said to be departamentalized (all the sections will have the same exam and will take it at the same time) but they had to cancel today. Luckily, I was able to review for my Physics exam well.
I guess I'm doing fine now. The exam was quite easy compared to the ones we had in SLU before.

Updates? Hmm, there aren't new pictures yet.
I'm just excited that I'm going to La Union for my vacation this Sunday to Wednesday. (I don't have class! I don't know why. :P)
Another thing is, I met my friends in SLU again. I keep visiting them whenever I have time. Although my new classmates are bitter over the results of the quota, I just don't seem to care. Tsk!

What am I saying? Hayyy.
I just want to get over this summer classes.

No air?...

2008-04-18T21:47:00.003+08:00

I drew this in my old notebook. I just remembered to take a picture of it. A combined "G" and "J". Something significant...

I still haven't made any improvements today. I still kept quiet in class and didn't dare mingle with anyone I didn't know. I'm just too stiff. Well I don't care. I'll adjust on my own...

I met with Grace and Carmi awhile ago and I helped them encode and make their presentation for Monday. It's one favor I owe for them helping me on my project as well. Hmm, after that, Grace and I went to 7-11 and grabbed Slurpee's again. And again, I'm having colds. Great.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow, hopefully our plans will be implemented. I just miss the people I dearly know. Tsk. I find it so hard to adjust and I know it'll take time for me to show my quirky side. As of now, the masungit look suits me. Oh yeah!

So then, baaaah. I'm not even in the mood to do anything useful.

What a waste!

2008-04-16T21:29:00.003+08:00

"Admit defeat and defeat admits you into custody.." - A Goofy Movie

I can't say much about today.
It's just I survived my IM injection and Skin testing! And yes, I didn't fail doing my Return Demonstration in skin testing.
Giddy as now, I feel proud because not all of us were able to do it awhile ago.
There were some who failed and didn't want to continue their own Return Demonstration.

Believe me,
this is the only significant thing I remember today. Haha!
I'm supposed to be reviewing for my quiz in Foundations of Nursing tomorrow,
but I feel too lazy.
As usual, puyat mode haha.

Happiness is just around the corner

2008-04-15T22:17:00.002+08:00

It took me awhile to update anything again.
Even in my multiply page, I've been so depressed that I don't have any new photos.
(Cos I can't find anything interesting yet in my school. I'll be bringing it again sometime and try to take some pictures of my new environment.. It's lonely I tell you..)

But anyway,
I was able to appreciate things around me today.
I don't know how I could express this happiness.

I perfected my Return Demonstration in our Intramuscular injection. How?
There was no blood when I aspirated from the arm of my classmate and also when I removed the injection. Why am I so happy? For a first timer like me, this is already a huge achievement because not all of us was able to do that. A lot of my classmates' arms hurt and some had to repeat the process again.
So I'm proud and I guess I have the guts to do our Return Demonstration for Skin testing tomorrow. ;]

And lastly, I went to my previous school, SLU.
I was able to enter the school without being noticed by the guards because I still had my I.D. Haha! So there, I texted my friends and asked where they were.
It took me 30 minutes to be at 3 buildings. The best thing is I earned a lot of hugs from my friends and enemies alike. I'm so happy really. It meant a lot when I received this hugs.. Hay.. It'll be awhile when I'd be able to visit them again, although I'd want to visit again for the birthday of my favorite professor..

After the dramatic hour, I accompanied Aya to buy her clothes, paraphernalia and shoes that she needed for their orientation tomorrow. It was really tiring. We had to go round and round in Session Road because most of the stores are already closed. But we survived and ended in SM. Haha. She treated me dinner afterwards and when I got home late, my dad scolded me.
It really didn't affect me because of my happy mood.

God, I really loved this day. Thank you very much. . .

Him...

2008-04-09T20:13:00.005+08:00

This is a crappy post, I'm warning you haha! But I can't help it, I miss him. ='[

*Breath in (after 5 seconds), breath out.*
But I still feel nervous. I have never made a public post about Him ever since I started blogging. I couldn't even mention his name or his nickname. I just can't.
Well, the reason is, I'm afraid his girlfriend might read the post. But now, I don't care. ;]]

I am supposed to feel better now. But then something triggered my memory of Him.
Funny thing, but he resembles Quan of Hana Kimi (Taiwanese version). His built, facial structure and even the hair and eyes! For God's sake, what the hell was that?!

The smile.. Oh God, kill me. T___________T

I don't usually watch in local channels but when my Grandpa was watching news and the commercial was about Hana Kimi, I saw the main character linked to this guy.
Believe me, I had a tachycardia that time. Why... Of all the people...
Above is a picture of "Quan".. I can't post the picture of Him because his girlfriend really doesn't know the history of Him and me.

A brief history of Him&me:
We've known each other for four years now.
He's the best friend of my ex and we started to be "good" friends since the break up.
We've been going out ever since and reached the point of M.U. as termed by the others.
After a lot of "dates", my ex knew about it and he wanted to get back with me. What happened to Him and me? We had to lie low and it was pretty long before we met again. My friends told me to ditch him if we were dating but not officially. Until sometime, when I couldn't return the expressions of affection, he got a girlfriend.
*Fast forward*

He texted me the past two weeks and he was still the same sweet guy. Darn it.
Sila pa rin ng girlfriend niya nung nagkikita kami.
He told me that he isn't sure if he'll still be studying here in Baguio because his girlfriend is restless and is hard up with their long distance relationship. I was like whoa, the hell! I felt bad but I didn't say what I really felt anymore and stayed neutral. I don't want him to think I've still got feelings. I don't know.. I just want to let go but I can't. I've been hanging in here for almost 2 years now... And it really hurts. After that revelation, he told me he didn't want to study in Manila. The reason? I didn't dare ask.
Before saying goodbye (he had to switch his sim back to sun again for his girlfriend), he told me "I love you..." I didn't want to expect so I told him, "wrong send ka.." and this time, he replied: "hindi yun wrong send. best friend kita eh."

And again, I believed and was hurt.

Will someone please tell me what this is? Even I who keeps on advising people do not know what to do about my situation. I feel like a fucking ass crap right now. =(

The Driving Maniac

2008-04-07T21:11:00.002+08:00

It's been a day. And tomorrow's another day. And the next day is gonna be another day and so on.
I'm not ranting or whatsoever. I just thought of something.
But now I don't know what was that something. Ha ha.

I woke up extremely late today(9 A.M) and the image of me in a nursing uniform of another school made me want to go back to sleep. But I had no choice.

Yesterday, I had my driving lesson with my dad. And I almost ruined the car.
We were from Baguio when he decided to let me drive in the shortcut to San Juan. There weren't much cars because the road was under construction that meant baku baku ang daan.
So there, in a narrow curved lane, a pick-up car was following us and some random car met us in the way. I panicked when my dad told me the instructions, stepped on the clutch so hard, from first gear I put it to neutral and so the car went backwards (kasi pataas yun) and when my dad was telling me madly to step on the clutch, put it to first gear and move aside, the clutch didn't budge. I maneuvered the car backing slowly to a side and let the people waiting pass. Great, I failed again. So we were stuck for more than an hour at an unlikely time (1 P.M - sobrang init) in a very unusual place (baku baku ang daan tapos bukid lang kinalalagyan namin) while my dad tried to fix it by himself. He said it was the first time he encountered such.

God really played a trick on me today. How lucky would us be when the house near us was owned by a mekaniko! He helped us, thank you God! After another hour of "un"blissful tanning in the rocks, we finally managed to get off that area! Woo.

After that, my dad drove us but after quite a lot of pleads from me saying that I would drive home, he allowed me. So there, I did well until we reached our gate. My problem then was how will I park it to the garage. I tried and managed to get in swiftly until Billy, my dog came running and I panicked that I would run over him, I maneuvered it to my left. Wrong move. The car was barely an inch away from the wall of the garage and luckily, I managed to step on the brakes. My dad was mad again and went out. But he came back and coached on me how to get off. And guess what, I did it without a scratch on the car! And now I'm proud of myself again. Nyahaha.

- the hopeless aspiring driver, Gem.

Judgment

2008-04-03T17:35:00.002+08:00

Gaaaah! I've been up at 6AM (sooo early) and prepared for my school hunting.

I went to meet my friends Frances' and Emil and accompanied them to have their entrance exam in Easter College. When we arrived, there were already a lot of ex-louisians waiting for the exam to start.

While they were having their exams, Michelle and I went to SLU to apply for our transcript of record and other credentials needed. After that, we headed back to Easter College.
Upon our arrival, the exams were done and we went on our own businesses'.

I accompanied Frances' to the University of Cordilleras and we inquired if we were allowed to enroll at a very late date. They told us to go to the College of Nursing Deans Office for evaluation. We were ranked that's why..
When it was my turn, I asked "Ma'am anong pwedeng gawin kapag may bagsak po ako sa Physics? Pero napasa ko na po yung Entrance exam?".

The answer I got was: "Transfer to another college. We don't accept failures."

Okay......... So I got a harsh answer.
At the back of my mind, I wanted to answer back that "I came from the best school that always has 99% passing rate in the board exams. Compared to yours, do you think your regular students don't fail and do they match what we've been through for you to tell me that I'm a failure?"

But I thought, I'm going to be a future nurse.
I still maintained my poise and kept my mouth shut. I know what I've been through and am still walking proud even though I failed my last subject, Physics.

I texted my friends and everyone I know about what happened.
They told me I didn't deserve her judgment because she didn't know what I've been through.
My only point is, she is a nurse. She knows that our university held a quota and we were not taken and another thing is, I had a failed subject but why did she have to speak so harsh? And to think that we've studied Therapeutic communication in Health Care Laboratory I. Have she forgotten her basic skills? It isn't even a skill, it should be an attitude no matter what situation we ran into.

But I'll take my friends' advice that I should take it as an challenge and that I could prove that I didn't deserve such treatment. I would take Physics one more time and pass with flying colors.

... I know I failed my parent's expectations and when they talk, they won't even face me. It's enough punishment for me and I accepted this challenge to move on to another school and won't shift to another course. I took this step from the beginning and I'm not gonna give up whatever happens. I'm loving what I'm doing and I'll prove that I'll be better this time.

JUDGE ME AS A FAILURE WHEN YOUR NURSING SCHOOL TOPS THE BOARD EXAM, DEAR UNIVERSITY OF CORDILLERAS, COLLEGE OF NURSING DEAN.

Failure...

2008-04-02T17:46:00.002+08:00

Finally, the results are in. Sad to say, I didn't get in. I failed one subject. Physics.

And so, I was right about what I always thought. It isn't about being pessimistic but I know I didn't give my best. I thought about all the sacrifices I made for my attendance, attitude and academic performance but I failed there. For the last semester.. For the last chance to prove myself, I failed.

This is the first time I experienced such failure. And I don't quite know how to react to this feeling. I've never failed any subject since I've started studying until now. Now that everything was so crucial. Right now, I hate myself.

I didn't sleep very well last night thinking about what would happen today and I got a hard hitting answer. When I didn't see my name in the list, I knew something was wrong. So then, me and my other classmates who didn't pass went to Easter College and inquire. I passed the entrance exam and my enrollment was scheduled on April 4.

Before all this happened, I met a very good friend of mine, Saharz, in the stairs of Adenauer Building and when I hugged her, oh my God, I cried. I suddenly couldn't stop crying. So there, we ran off near the men's comfort room and I told her I didn't get in. After a while of weeping, I asked the janitor who was cleaning the men's comfort room if I could wash my face and he let me in.

Anyway, when I texted everyone who got in, they asked me if I got in. Since they were my friends, I easily told them I didn't. All that time I was standing in line waiting for the release of my grade, I was texting, not paying attention to people around me (because the people I'm texting, my friends, were not in school that time) and they told me I'd move on in time and that they were always there for me. I got a lot of comforting words and hugs thru text for how many hours and it helped. Even though I know I'll be leaving my loved Alma Mater and friends, I should move on.

Till then, I know we'll meet again. One very important thing that matters to me is, I would take the board exam once and be a Registered Nurse.

As of now, I'll be making testimonials as promised. :]

I'll remember what they promised me today: we'll still hang-out despite our busy schedules and duties in the hospital. Block 06, Block 8, and all those who supported, prayed and comforted me, thank you...

2008-04-01T23:35:00.003+08:00

I've been enjoying my summer vacation that I forgot to update ha ha.
I'll be doing that tomorrow after I've finished uploading pictures.

And hmm.. tomorrow is our quota day.
Pray for me please. Waaah!

Another semester has ended

2008-03-20T00:09:00.004+08:00

My 2-week summer plan:
Nasa picture na! :]]
I'll catch up on movies & series',
read my magazines thoroughly,
finish the books that has been kept in my shelf for ages
and oh - sleep! :]
Plus get-aways with family and relatives.
I really can't wait for this break.
Oh yea,
I plan on advanced reading too for my summer class,
a review on anatomy and physiology
and even fundamentals of nursing.
Dork! Haha.

*****************************************

"If time flies when you're having fun, it hits the afterburners when you don't think you're having enough."
- Jef Mallett

I didn't expect to cry a while ago.
But then,
even those with a stone heart never fails to
acknowledge overwhelming emotions.

After our Theology exam, everyone crowded outside the room and when I went out, my classmates were hugging and the others were crying already. Oh my God.
It took awhile to clear the stairs and Betina came to me crying.. and she hugged me. And then I cried. I'm going to miss her a lot. For the two years we've been classmates together with Frances and Grace, she has proved her worth to me even though she got bossy at times.
I'm so scared of the quota. Two weeks after, the results are coming in. Will I ever be taken? :(

Over all, I loved this day. It proved something to me. There's no harm in giving love and giving chances. Taking risks is one strong foundation for experience. :]

Click click!

2008-03-15T21:28:00.002+08:00

So I haven't been updating for quite a while again, although most of the time I'm online in my YM. I haven't even uploaded our class pictures. I'm too busy, it's exam week and I'm rushing a lot of requirements. But it was one hell of a fun week! I really enjoyed the company of my new block. It's a shame I didn't give them a chance before.

If there was one thing I learned today,
it is about my brother Jam. Gawd, I didn't know he was vain too. Yea, 'vainer' than vain kasi siya yung nakarami sa pictures. Wala kaming ginawa sa Watsons kundi magpikchur.
*By the way, did I mention he is veeeeerrry vain?*
Here are some photos. I can't post the others... Masyado talagang marami :]]

Jam and me
2
3
4
5
mirror
solo ko haha

Last visit to our community

2008-03-08T22:44:00.005+08:00

"You may lose your life for love."
- Sir dela Cruz;
Political Science Instructor

In my Political Science class, I was called to recite. By the way, I love Political Science. Because of too much food we ate before going to class, I felt drowsy. I suddenly woke up from my drowsy state and was asked about a WSS (Warrant of Search & Seizure). Of course, I was able to answer my professors' question where a judge is not allowed to give a certificate of warrant of arrest if the police officer is not physically present upon the report.
About the quote, out of nowhere, he just mentioned the quote. And as usual, my classmates yelled "eeeeeeeeeeeee". For gawd's sake, he's old and he's got his wife already.

Anyway, moving on, I was late this morning for my Literature class because I woke up late. Gaaah. 7:30 A.M is too early and even though I was only late for a minute, she required me to get an admission slip. So much for additional demerits.

Today was our last visit to our Barangay in Lucnab. I feel sad because we lacked time and we wanted to go to more households.
The Purok to where we are assigned is located in the bottom of the mountain. Yes, we went down. I never thought that Purok 4-B would be that far. We almost reached the spring in the bottom of the mountain but it was already 4PM when we finished visiting all the households in our Purok and we had to go back because our call time is 4:45. We took some pictures first na nag-babayo ng bigas and with the clients, finishing at 4:15. We had to go back because it took 30 minutes to reach the barangay hall. Imagine that walking distance.

30 minutes walking uuuuuppppp

Interacting with the people in the community was great. I felt happy because they accommodated us immediately. We took their blood pressure and discussed some health teaching. They asked questions and we were happy because we knew we learned something. :]]

I just wanna share some pictures of my group teaching the children to handwash. Yes I am proud.

handwashing

I even learned how to make a broom. Carmi and Gia (two of my group mates) helped in cutting the "leaves" of the Walis plant. Of course, I didn't help because I was busy taking pictures and interviewing the other household members. :]]

plant used

The community people were able to verbalize their main health problem and that is the people eating "nga-nga" also known as beetle nut. It is extremely hazardous to one's health (as we discussed) because it causes ulcerations in the mouth and gums as well as cancer of the mouth, liver, stomach and lungs. Why? Because it is burned with tobacco which is Carcinogenic. But whatever. Here is a picture of the kinaaadikang nga-nga.

beetle nut

And this day ended a success. I am proud of my group and classmates as well as myself because I know we were able to finish our tasks and were able to apply what we have learned in the classroom.

My "tired" but "happy group

*I treated the Ice Candy here. From left: Gem, Jordan, Gia, Carmi and Sam*

I was tagged

2008-03-08T22:32:00.003+08:00

I have randomly selected 5 of you below to be tagged and I hope that you will similarly publish this post in your blog. You will have to tag 5 other bloggers and just keep adding on to the list. (Do not replace, just keep on adding! Yes we hope it will be a long list!
It’s real easy! Tag others and see your Technorati Authority increase exponentially! The benefits of Viral Linking:

* One of the fastest ways to see your technorati authority explode!
* Increase your Google PageRank fast
* Attract large volume of new traffic to your site
* Build your community
* Make new friends!
* The Strategist Notebook* Link Addiction* Ardour of the Heart* When Life Becomes a Book* The Malaysian Life* Yogatta.com* What goes under the sun* Roshidan’s Cyber Station* Sasha says* Arts of Physics* Dagboek* Dutch converted Asian* Enjoy Your Meal* And the legend lives* My View, My Life!* Pusang Maganda* Spontaneity* Maruism* Wapita* Ako ay Tamad* The Balmy Zephyr* bhabypau* KiCHi* Mae-Mae* Ishii*Mhaye* Sarah* Mapi * Gem

*I don't know how this works but I'm doing it. :]]
I'm tagging Rainne and Jamie. I don't know other people yet. :]

Fribbit

2008-03-03T13:22:00.003+08:00

It's March already. I don't even have any plans for summer - because I won't be having any vacation anyway. Yes, I repeat, no summer vacation for me.
My professor's told us that we will start our duties soon in the hospital.

Yaaaawwwwnnnn.

I'm freaking tired. We had our Final Physics Exam today. And I didn't review well. Now I'm wondering if ever I'll pass that friggin' subject. I knew it was easy if only I reviewed. But again, I didn't feel like it.
I haven't updated for such a long time even though most of the time I'm online in my YM. I cleaned my email last week, I encoded a lot of homeworks and researched a lot of things just to be copied by my classmates, which sucks, but I can't do anything. I also ask for others' answers too at times.

So tomorrow, we'll be going to our Barangay (our community service). It would be our 3rd meeting. Bah, my father accidentally deleted my one and only folder which contains all of my files and pictures. Luckily I have uploaded them in my multiply. And yea, I can't post any picture here on our community trip. It was fun, tiring and bitin. Now I really appreciate walking. It is so significant that I really tolerated it when we went to our Purok. Funny thing, there weren't much stores around where we could eat. Haha, pagkain nanaman nasa isip ko.

But anyway, I finished my output (diary and learning insight) last night in the effing computer shop. Darn, it was really noisy. I was so annoyed that I had to complain to the guy who was in the shop. That same night I told my dad that he should suggest the computer shops in our building to use headphones because it irritates other users. Talk about people having thick, uncleaned earwax. So I'm being spoiled again, but I have a point. :]]

Whatever I could think of

2008-02-27T21:27:00.002+08:00

So I am freaking tired today. Not because of any activity but because of too much eating.
Session Road is closed and me and my friends went there to look around. We were sticking to a so called budget that was not followed because of temptations.
Yes, food is the greater evil today.
I spent more than 150 pesos today because of that. Hey, this is not gluttony.
Gluttony is getting food that you cannot consume. I learned that from my theology subject.
But anyway,
I even went home during our break just to get the effing book I borrowed yesterday and trade it to a better one. My taxi fare was 87.00 for God's sake. I was able to control my temper today. Good thing or I'll burst. And Physics made my day so bad. Again, I felt sleepy, darn.

Thoughts came running through my head such as the time that the freaking loser was running with an ex-kada. Whatever. I didn't care much anymore.
I'm too concerned with my grades right now, but at the same time, I'm still feeling so lazy.
Again, I'm so outdated with everything.

Not a hellish day

2008-02-21T21:54:00.003+08:00

So it's been another hell day that passed. I didn't feel sleepy in any of my subjects! Amazing!
This has really been a day and I wouldn't call it a hellish one. One of the reasons are because we were allowed to play volleyball without restrictions. Yes, this is one of a kind experience because our instructor has been parasitized by his fellow instructors, we are the ones affected by this when we aren't allowed to play in the court. Then again, wasn't feeling sleepy during our Health Care Laboratory. :]

I've uploaded dozens of pictures again.
When will I finish? I don't know.

I'm chatting with my friends right now. It's pretty amazing how we still keep in touch despite the distance and the difference in our time zone. I really miss them. :[
It's been 2 years since I've since the others. As for the people who are still here in Baguio, I don't know, they don't seem to care.
It's funny to think that soon enough, we'll be having our own lives.
We might lose communication and move on with our a new chapter of our lives.

Am I really ready to face the future?
I don't even know the basics yet. :))

LSS: Manang Biday, ilukat mo man...

2008-02-18T21:01:00.003+08:00

Today has not been different from yesterday except that I acted weird today a.k.a hyperactive.
The title tells of the song we're gonna sing tomorrow for our Literature class. By golly, I participated in making the props and practiced "singing". Oh man, let me do everything except sing. Bah, I really don't sound good so I'll just pretend I'll be singing but I'll just lip sing. *Snickers*

So I had to edit the lyrics of Manang Biday so we would be the only ones who will sing to Emil.
We changed the roles that the guys will act as the ladies who are being courted and we the ladies will be the ones who will serenade them. It's really funny but it'll do.

What else have happened today? Well, we did the props for 4 hours and practiced for 30 minutes.
I went home after the practice to get my cell phone. Of all the things I could forget, I left my cellphone under my bed. What was it doing there? I don't know. It probably fell.

I found it nice to hear my classmates sing. For the first time, I heard the silent people sing. And yep, they really have a good voice compared to me. Bah, again. Never mind that part.

Aside from our presentation for our Literature class, we're gonna have our written exam in Physical Education. It's all about basketball. Hay, I really don't feel like it. I'm too lazy for now. :]

Nurses' Fest

2008-02-17T19:15:00.005+08:00

Our Nurses' Fest has just ended. Thank God. I thought it would take forever.
There wasn't much that have happened cos the highlight of the fest was the cheer dance competition. I'm amazed with the dancers. Gosh, imagine splitting in the air.
Anyway, I learned today that I should really have a lot of patience. Our block had some tantrums because we weren't given balloons. We only cheered when we were given these.

Last valentines (Single Awareness Day), I thought of him. :[
How quick time passes by. It was like I was with him yesterday and the next day he's gone.
I had a double date with my parents and friends. I ate dinner twice. Nyahaha. Call me greedy but I had to because I promised both that I'd eat with them.
Again, there wasn't much that happened because the KJ SM baguio closed so early that our plans had to be cancelled. So we went home pretty early(before 10 PM).

Oh yeah, by the way... I raised my grade in Physics Laboratory! Thanks for the hard work of our group and of course to my neat and legible handwriting, our grades raised more.
Unfortunately, I was absent last Wednesday because I really didn't know that we were having our regular classes already. We still had an exam in Physics Lecture.
But anyway, I managed and got my admission slip.

Yesterday (February 16, 2008), the University of Baguio was on fire.
There was power interruption and that was the only time we knew that UB was on fire.
I had friends studying there and as soon as my classes ended, I called them to check if they were okay. Thank God and they are okay. :]
I've taken pictures of the result of the fire.

Flavorless

2008-02-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

And so it's been a while since I've posted or updated anything.
My midterm exams ended today and I don't feel good. I mean, yea, I should be happy now that it's over. But it doesn't work that way. I have to worry about the freaking results.

Gosh. Will I ever, ever learn to solve those problems in physics?
I feel stupid even though I'm not.
I know I've been trying. Trying and trying and trying...

I took this picture in Gonzaga's lobby. It's not that clear because there were no sufficient lights.
Anyway, it attracted me for it's texture and meaning.

Darkness - somewhere you can rant, cry and show your true feelings.
I felt it in this display.
Meaningless, useless... Flavorless...

And so, tomorrow is Valentines Day.
I don't have a date. Darn. Ha Ha.
But it's good to have a group date with my single girl friends. =]

I'm expecting someone but it's just so.... impossible.
He's there.. But he never was here..

There...

2008-01-11T08:00:00.000+08:00

Today is my return demonstration for being the actual nurse in the delivery of the baby.
I'm quite nervous because of what the others are saying about the comments and extreme guidance the professor is giving.
I do things quite slow but sure. Again, I might be pressured by Ma'am Joy (because she was my past professor in Health Care Laboratory I) because she wants the work done fast.
But I know I can do it. Pressure and time is the only enemy I have to fight.

The comments about our output for our Family Health Care Plan yesterday makes me feel quite disappointed. Our group got the highest grade for the Family Initial Database but I don't know about our Family Health Care Plan. There was so much we could have done about the output but there are some problems about our relationship as group members. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it.

Last night. What have I done aside from staying in SM after school. To think that Thursday was our 'hellday' because our classes started from 7:30 am to 7:00 pm then I and Frances headed to SM immediately. We went home past 8 or 9. I didn't notice the time.
We were like looking for Zagu substitute because it closed as soon as we got to their stall. Argh! So then when I arrived at home, I faced the computer and started pounding on my keyboard without even eating and stayed up until 12:30 am and decided to finally sleep.

4:19 am. My phone was ringing! At first I didn't know what was ringing if it was my smart/globe/sun and just picked the blinking one. It was Paolo. Yeah, he called so early that I felt my eyes crumble and open. So we talked about unusual things in our lives for 2 hours, 30 minutes. It was easier talking to him in the phone than in person because he's so makulit but always has the point. He hasn't called for ages okay? Ha ha. About the spelling of okay, I remember what he said about the spelling. Lol. Anyway, I didn't realize we've been FRIENDS for four years now. It's pretty amazing it lasted for that long. :)

8:30 am. Well, I'd better start doing my homework in Statistics. Ha Ha.

Drifted...

2008-01-09T10:36:00.000+08:00

How hard is it to love someone?
...I don't know how to answer that question because I know...
I'm too scared to try.

I gave away many chances. I never even listened, never even gave an effort. And I never gave it a try..

Until it was too late...

I go on living like a fool. Not noticing what was around me. What was far important than my fears.
I should have given them a chance. I should have given myself a chance. But I never really tried.
So much have passed. How can I reminisce something that wasn't mine?

Till then, i'm still waiting... =[