Wednesday, April 2, 2008
* Failure... *
Finally, the results are in. Sad to say, I didn't get in. I failed one subject. Physics.And so, I was right about what I always thought. It isn't about being pessimistic but I know I didn't give my best. I thought about all the sacrifices I made for my attendance, attitude and academic performance but I failed there. For the last semester.. For the last chance to prove myself, I failed.
This is the first time I experienced such failure. And I don't quite know how to react to this feeling. I've never failed any subject since I've started studying until now. Now that everything was so crucial. Right now, I hate myself.
I didn't sleep very well last night thinking about what would happen today and I got a hard hitting answer. When I didn't see my name in the list, I knew something was wrong. So then, me and my other classmates who didn't pass went to Easter College and inquire. I passed the entrance exam and my enrollment was scheduled on April 4.
Before all this happened, I met a very good friend of mine, Saharz, in the stairs of Adenauer Building and when I hugged her, oh my God, I cried. I suddenly couldn't stop crying. So there, we ran off near the men's comfort room and I told her I didn't get in. After a while of weeping, I asked the janitor who was cleaning the men's comfort room if I could wash my face and he let me in.
Anyway, when I texted everyone who got in, they asked me if I got in. Since they were my friends, I easily told them I didn't. All that time I was standing in line waiting for the release of my grade, I was texting, not paying attention to people around me (because the people I'm texting, my friends, were not in school that time) and they told me I'd move on in time and that they were always there for me. I got a lot of comforting words and hugs thru text for how many hours and it helped. Even though I know I'll be leaving my loved Alma Mater and friends, I should move on.
Till then, I know we'll meet again. One very important thing that matters to me is, I would take the board exam once and be a Registered Nurse.
As of now, I'll be making testimonials as promised. :]
I'll remember what they promised me today: we'll still hang-out despite our busy schedules and duties in the hospital. Block 06, Block 8, and all those who supported, prayed and comforted me, thank you...
