Wednesday, April 30, 2008
* Decreased ADL *
I had my exam for NCM today. Damn it, chicken!I'm not boasting but the exam was really easy.
After the exam, we went home and I watched Romantic Princess the whole afternoon.
I don't know. It's as if everyday gets worser in terms of my adjusting situation.
Hay. I don't even have anything to say. Bukas na lang ako magkwe-kwento.
As of now, I'm really trying my best to adjust, start over and prove myself.
But I don't know how. :(
Saturday, April 26, 2008
* Soooo annoying! *
"Escaping is worse than making a wrong decision" - Hana Kimi (Taiwanese)
I shouldn't be this annoyed if the guy here in the computer shop isn't playing the same old song over and over again. Well, actually I'm annoyed because the song reminds me of my ex.
He sang the stupid song before and yea, as I've said, he has been playing it over and over.
About school,
our exams for NCM (Nursing Care Management) is delayed for next week. The reason is because of our section. Wahaha.
It isn't our fault anyway that the exams got delayed because our professor has been out for a couple of days and so we did our advanced lessons for the theories of nursing. The exam is said to be departamentalized (all the sections will have the same exam and will take it at the same time) but they had to cancel today. Luckily, I was able to review for my Physics exam well.
I guess I'm doing fine now. The exam was quite easy compared to the ones we had in SLU before.
Updates? Hmm, there aren't new pictures yet.
I'm just excited that I'm going to La Union for my vacation this Sunday to Wednesday. (I don't have class! I don't know why. :P)
Another thing is, I met my friends in SLU again. I keep visiting them whenever I have time. Although my new classmates are bitter over the results of the quota, I just don't seem to care. Tsk!
What am I saying? Hayyy.
I just want to get over this summer classes.
Friday, April 18, 2008
* No air?... *
I drew this in my old notebook. I just remembered to take a picture of it. A combined "G" and "J". Something significant...
I still haven't made any improvements today. I still kept quiet in class and didn't dare mingle with anyone I didn't know. I'm just too stiff. Well I don't care. I'll adjust on my own...
I met with Grace and Carmi awhile ago and I helped them encode and make their presentation for Monday. It's one favor I owe for them helping me on my project as well. Hmm, after that, Grace and I went to 7-11 and grabbed Slurpee's again. And again, I'm having colds. Great.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow, hopefully our plans will be implemented. I just miss the people I dearly know. Tsk. I find it so hard to adjust and I know it'll take time for me to show my quirky side. As of now, the masungit look suits me. Oh yeah!
So then, baaaah. I'm not even in the mood to do anything useful.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
* What a waste! *
"Admit defeat and defeat admits you into custody.." - A Goofy MovieI can't say much about today.
It's just I survived my IM injection and Skin testing! And yes, I didn't fail doing my Return Demonstration in skin testing.
Giddy as now, I feel proud because not all of us were able to do it awhile ago.
There were some who failed and didn't want to continue their own Return Demonstration.
Believe me,
this is the only significant thing I remember today. Haha!
I'm supposed to be reviewing for my quiz in Foundations of Nursing tomorrow,
but I feel too lazy.
As usual, puyat mode haha.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
* Happiness is just around the corner *
It took me awhile to update anything again.Even in my multiply page, I've been so depressed that I don't have any new photos.
(Cos I can't find anything interesting yet in my school. I'll be bringing it again sometime and try to take some pictures of my new environment.. It's lonely I tell you..)
But anyway,
I was able to appreciate things around me today.
I don't know how I could express this happiness.
I perfected my Return Demonstration in our Intramuscular injection. How?
There was no blood when I aspirated from the arm of my classmate and also when I removed the injection. Why am I so happy? For a first timer like me, this is already a huge achievement because not all of us was able to do that. A lot of my classmates' arms hurt and some had to repeat the process again.
So I'm proud and I guess I have the guts to do our Return Demonstration for Skin testing tomorrow. ;]
And lastly, I went to my previous school, SLU.
I was able to enter the school without being noticed by the guards because I still had my I.D. Haha! So there, I texted my friends and asked where they were.
It took me 30 minutes to be at 3 buildings. The best thing is I earned a lot of hugs from my friends and enemies alike. I'm so happy really. It meant a lot when I received this hugs.. Hay.. It'll be awhile when I'd be able to visit them again, although I'd want to visit again for the birthday of my favorite professor..
After the dramatic hour, I accompanied Aya to buy her clothes, paraphernalia and shoes that she needed for their orientation tomorrow. It was really tiring. We had to go round and round in Session Road because most of the stores are already closed. But we survived and ended in SM. Haha. She treated me dinner afterwards and when I got home late, my dad scolded me.
It really didn't affect me because of my happy mood.
God, I really loved this day. Thank you very much. . .
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
* Him... *
This is a crappy post, I'm warning you haha! But I can't help it, I miss him. ='[*Breath in (after 5 seconds), breath out.*
But I still feel nervous. I have never made a public post about Him ever since I started blogging. I couldn't even mention his name or his nickname. I just can't.
Well, the reason is, I'm afraid his girlfriend might read the post. But now, I don't care. ;]]
I am supposed to feel better now. But then something triggered my memory of Him.
Funny thing, but he resembles Quan of Hana Kimi (Taiwanese version). His built, facial structure and even the hair and eyes! For God's sake, what the hell was that?!
The smile.. Oh God, kill me. T___________T
I don't usually watch in local channels but when my Grandpa was watching news and the commercial was about Hana Kimi, I saw the main character linked to this guy.
Believe me, I had a tachycardia that time. Why... Of all the people...
Above is a picture of "Quan".. I can't post the picture of Him because his girlfriend really doesn't know the history of Him and me.
A brief history of Him&me:
We've known each other for four years now.
He's the best friend of my ex and we started to be "good" friends since the break up.
We've been going out ever since and reached the point of M.U. as termed by the others.
After a lot of "dates", my ex knew about it and he wanted to get back with me. What happened to Him and me? We had to lie low and it was pretty long before we met again. My friends told me to ditch him if we were dating but not officially. Until sometime, when I couldn't return the expressions of affection, he got a girlfriend.
*Fast forward*
He texted me the past two weeks and he was still the same sweet guy. Darn it.
Sila pa rin ng girlfriend niya nung nagkikita kami.
He told me that he isn't sure if he'll still be studying here in Baguio because his girlfriend is restless and is hard up with their long distance relationship. I was like whoa, the hell! I felt bad but I didn't say what I really felt anymore and stayed neutral. I don't want him to think I've still got feelings. I don't know.. I just want to let go but I can't. I've been hanging in here for almost 2 years now... And it really hurts. After that revelation, he told me he didn't want to study in Manila. The reason? I didn't dare ask.
Before saying goodbye (he had to switch his sim back to sun again for his girlfriend), he told me "I love you..." I didn't want to expect so I told him, "wrong send ka.." and this time, he replied: "hindi yun wrong send. best friend kita eh."
And again, I believed and was hurt.
Will someone please tell me what this is? Even I who keeps on advising people do not know what to do about my situation. I feel like a fucking ass crap right now. =(
Monday, April 7, 2008
* The Driving Maniac *
It's been a day. And tomorrow's another day. And the next day is gonna be another day and so on.I'm not ranting or whatsoever. I just thought of something.
But now I don't know what was that something. Ha ha.
I woke up extremely late today(9 A.M) and the image of me in a nursing uniform of another school made me want to go back to sleep. But I had no choice.
Yesterday, I had my driving lesson with my dad. And I almost ruined the car.
We were from Baguio when he decided to let me drive in the shortcut to San Juan. There weren't much cars because the road was under construction that meant baku baku ang daan.
So there, in a narrow curved lane, a pick-up car was following us and some random car met us in the way. I panicked when my dad told me the instructions, stepped on the clutch so hard, from first gear I put it to neutral and so the car went backwards (kasi pataas yun) and when my dad was telling me madly to step on the clutch, put it to first gear and move aside, the clutch didn't budge. I maneuvered the car backing slowly to a side and let the people waiting pass. Great, I failed again. So we were stuck for more than an hour at an unlikely time (1 P.M - sobrang init) in a very unusual place (baku baku ang daan tapos bukid lang kinalalagyan namin) while my dad tried to fix it by himself. He said it was the first time he encountered such.
God really played a trick on me today. How lucky would us be when the house near us was owned by a mekaniko! He helped us, thank you God! After another hour of "un"blissful tanning in the rocks, we finally managed to get off that area! Woo.
After that, my dad drove us but after quite a lot of pleads from me saying that I would drive home, he allowed me. So there, I did well until we reached our gate. My problem then was how will I park it to the garage. I tried and managed to get in swiftly until Billy, my dog came running and I panicked that I would run over him, I maneuvered it to my left. Wrong move. The car was barely an inch away from the wall of the garage and luckily, I managed to step on the brakes. My dad was mad again and went out. But he came back and coached on me how to get off. And guess what, I did it without a scratch on the car! And now I'm proud of myself again. Nyahaha.
- the hopeless aspiring driver, Gem.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
* Judgment *
Gaaaah! I've been up at 6AM (sooo early) and prepared for my school hunting.I went to meet my friends Frances' and Emil and accompanied them to have their entrance exam in Easter College. When we arrived, there were already a lot of ex-louisians waiting for the exam to start.
While they were having their exams, Michelle and I went to SLU to apply for our transcript of record and other credentials needed. After that, we headed back to Easter College.
Upon our arrival, the exams were done and we went on our own businesses'.
I accompanied Frances' to the University of Cordilleras and we inquired if we were allowed to enroll at a very late date. They told us to go to the College of Nursing Deans Office for evaluation. We were ranked that's why..
When it was my turn, I asked "Ma'am anong pwedeng gawin kapag may bagsak po ako sa Physics? Pero napasa ko na po yung Entrance exam?".
The answer I got was: "Transfer to another college. We don't accept failures."
Okay......... So I got a harsh answer.
At the back of my mind, I wanted to answer back that "I came from the best school that always has 99% passing rate in the board exams. Compared to yours, do you think your regular students don't fail and do they match what we've been through for you to tell me that I'm a failure?"
But I thought, I'm going to be a future nurse.
I still maintained my poise and kept my mouth shut. I know what I've been through and am still walking proud even though I failed my last subject, Physics.
I texted my friends and everyone I know about what happened.
They told me I didn't deserve her judgment because she didn't know what I've been through.
My only point is, she is a nurse. She knows that our university held a quota and we were not taken and another thing is, I had a failed subject but why did she have to speak so harsh? And to think that we've studied Therapeutic communication in Health Care Laboratory I. Have she forgotten her basic skills? It isn't even a skill, it should be an attitude no matter what situation we ran into.
But I'll take my friends' advice that I should take it as an challenge and that I could prove that I didn't deserve such treatment. I would take Physics one more time and pass with flying colors.
... I know I failed my parent's expectations and when they talk, they won't even face me. It's enough punishment for me and I accepted this challenge to move on to another school and won't shift to another course. I took this step from the beginning and I'm not gonna give up whatever happens. I'm loving what I'm doing and I'll prove that I'll be better this time.
JUDGE ME AS A FAILURE WHEN YOUR NURSING SCHOOL TOPS THE BOARD EXAM, DEAR UNIVERSITY OF CORDILLERAS, COLLEGE OF NURSING DEAN.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
* Failure... *
Finally, the results are in. Sad to say, I didn't get in. I failed one subject. Physics.And so, I was right about what I always thought. It isn't about being pessimistic but I know I didn't give my best. I thought about all the sacrifices I made for my attendance, attitude and academic performance but I failed there. For the last semester.. For the last chance to prove myself, I failed.
This is the first time I experienced such failure. And I don't quite know how to react to this feeling. I've never failed any subject since I've started studying until now. Now that everything was so crucial. Right now, I hate myself.
I didn't sleep very well last night thinking about what would happen today and I got a hard hitting answer. When I didn't see my name in the list, I knew something was wrong. So then, me and my other classmates who didn't pass went to Easter College and inquire. I passed the entrance exam and my enrollment was scheduled on April 4.
Before all this happened, I met a very good friend of mine, Saharz, in the stairs of Adenauer Building and when I hugged her, oh my God, I cried. I suddenly couldn't stop crying. So there, we ran off near the men's comfort room and I told her I didn't get in. After a while of weeping, I asked the janitor who was cleaning the men's comfort room if I could wash my face and he let me in.
Anyway, when I texted everyone who got in, they asked me if I got in. Since they were my friends, I easily told them I didn't. All that time I was standing in line waiting for the release of my grade, I was texting, not paying attention to people around me (because the people I'm texting, my friends, were not in school that time) and they told me I'd move on in time and that they were always there for me. I got a lot of comforting words and hugs thru text for how many hours and it helped. Even though I know I'll be leaving my loved Alma Mater and friends, I should move on.
Till then, I know we'll meet again. One very important thing that matters to me is, I would take the board exam once and be a Registered Nurse.
As of now, I'll be making testimonials as promised. :]
I'll remember what they promised me today: we'll still hang-out despite our busy schedules and duties in the hospital. Block 06, Block 8, and all those who supported, prayed and comforted me, thank you...
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I've been enjoying my summer vacation that I forgot to update ha ha.I'll be doing that tomorrow after I've finished uploading pictures.
And hmm.. tomorrow is our quota day.
Pray for me please. Waaah!